I AM A LAWYER I AM IN A CAFE I HAVE THINGS TO SAY LISTEN TO MY SHITTY POLITICS I AM UNNECESSARILY LOUD I WROTE ARTICLES I HAVE A LAW DEGREE

No one in this class can pronounce diaspora.

JK, Momma. Thanks for loving me, teaching me how to speak up, for feeding and clothing me, and not having a Twitter.

"My grandson had a quarter of his brain removed" -- response to my Kijiji ad where I am giving away my double bed

@emilyriddle That's really a non-effort for oil city. Appreciate it, but stay cynical. Question everything. We all know they can do more.

I have no fucking idea what you mean when you say Rob Swanson is your spirit animal.

If you & I went to high school together, there's a 67% chance your profile picture on Facebook is of your wedding or an ultrasound.

Makeup tutorials on Youtube: you're joking, right?

10:26pm: I have no fucking clue what I'm writing. Neo-colonlialism? Labour? Human capital? Globalization? Economic autonomy? #allnighter

If I have to pull an all-nighter in the York library, can I take off my pants?

If this Herbie torrent isn't finished downloading in two months, I am getting the percentage where it stalled tattooed on my ankle.

My writing face. No, sorry, this is my, "Fuck you life I'm going to lay in bed and watch Game of Thrones" face. pic.twitter.com/bDKk56Z1RJ

@emilyriddle @nativestudies YEAH GET IT!!!

I'm having an "I'd Like to Bury My Face in a Mountain of Biscuits From Popeyes and Deal With GI Repercussions Later" kind of day.

@emilyriddle I cried in pride and frustration the first time I watched that.

@tootlesswonders @pygmysioux @glamoursquaw I didn't realize racist, degrading terms for Indigenous women were supposed to be funny.

@glamoursquaw Uhhh... yes. You know that it is, too, which is why you wrote a ridiculously long defence of your use of it on your website.

When am I done?! I feel like I have had two years left of school for the past three years. It's Groundhog Day, university edition.

If you need me, I'll be over here laughing at Green Day's lame attempts to maintain their youth.

How much money did you spend in advertising today, Bell? What if you just quietly donated that advertising money to mental health?