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Coolest part about visiting London is either Cumberland sausage or random @tweetsauce sightings. pic.twitter.com/Ew3Woj6M
Why is it so much easier to say hello to a dog than to the person walking one?
After 2 mos with ios5, I've developed a negative connotation to those people whose text messages are green.
Must see! RT @motherjones: Brad Pitt's “Killing Them Softly" is a violently seductive take on the 2008 economic crisis: http://bit.ly/Vk1llt
To the person who snuck glitter into my jar of moisturizer, I will kill you. After I give you $20 lap dance.
If its any consolation, at least the niners get to return to SF. I've been to Baltimore...mehhh...
Step on a scale. If you haven't gained any weight from the previous day, you can eat an entire pizza. #diet #tips
Woman on the phone behind me: “It’s going to be okay, sweetie… please don’t cry… that’s why you shouldn’t have auto-drafted…” #fantasydorks
Hi, I Capitalize Each Word In My Status Updates Because My Every Thought Should Be a Book Title. Or I Don't Know How Sentences Work.
Women perform 66% of the world's work, produce 50% of it's food, yet earn 10% of it's income and own 1% of it's property. Happy Women's Day!
You asked for it. #VidCon road trip video with @tweetsauce. RT @sevdaktmn make a video of your journey... please!? http://t.co/oMnLTTtH
Just watched a woman rear end another car because she was busy applying deodorant. She smelled her pits before getting out to apologize.
Welcome To Photovine: Happy launch day everyone. Welcome to Photovine!!! http://t.co/6oxyvZl
Sprinted out the of the office to catch the Bart shuttle and made it without a sec to spare! A mile into our route… oh shit, I drove today.
Chick-Fil-A, must employ the absolute worst crisis management team in the history of the internet. And probably in the history of chicken.
Visibly exhausted woman next to me on Bart is muttering silently, "ooh, ooh, I pooped." Not sure if literal or missing preposition.
When someone brings you coffee in bed it feels like fucking Christmas. Adjective not a verb.
Foodphile, too-much-informationalist. Programming Strategist at YouTube Next Lab, and social media hound. These tweets are my own. #TweetingAndBurriteating
