Math teacher just asked what the polynomials are going to do next week. If it involves butt stuff, I'm dropping the class.

If you don't tweet while in the bathroom, you don't know how to use Twitter.

Dad: -walks in with sammich- Tweet and you shall receive!

@cnewtheman64 Also, do not share anything involving relationships until you're over your last one. It's depressing. And wrong.

"The prices of peanut butter are skyrocketing." http://t.co/xlSm31NP

"We didn't lose the value of silence, we just forgot about it."- @vigilanteoftime

"Mom asked about the penis on my car.. I didn't name names, so she still thinks you're cute."

"Hi, do these shorts effectively hide my thunder?"

"I feel like I need to talk to you about being a lesbian." "What do you want to talk about?" "You know God hates you, right?"

OMG THE TARDIS IS TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME @vivalacourtnehh http://twitpic.com/3k4h3c

http://twitpic.com/2haedj - I wasn't aware Hyvee sold cats.

EVERYONE SHOULD BACK THIS WONDERFUL INDIE BUNDLE!! (please) (they deserve it and i really want it)  http://kck.st/RG4yIB 

i think it's cute when people are in the stages of finding themselves in high school. #beenthere #donethat #neveragain

WELL THE DISNEY PRINCESSES AREN'T HERE. MIGHT AS WELL GO HOME.

This better not be what I think it is. "@cnewtheman64: So scared of it ending already. Why cant it just be meant to be?"

Oh good, my dog found the chainsaw.

"Do you ever feel like other people don't communicate like we do?"- @vivalacoutnehh

POOCKETTTSS I HAVE POCCKETTTSSS

Actually, no. Not just a #girlthing, but an #everybodything. It's respectful, so don't be a douchebag.

Going to look like a huge tool if I walk into class late with Starbucks. #ohwell #priorities