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Math teacher just asked what the polynomials are going to do next week. If it involves butt stuff, I'm dropping the class.
If you don't tweet while in the bathroom, you don't know how to use Twitter.
Dad: -walks in with sammich- Tweet and you shall receive!
"Mom asked about the penis on my car.. I didn't name names, so she still thinks you're cute."
"Hi, do these shorts effectively hide my thunder?"
"I feel like I need to talk to you about being a lesbian." "What do you want to talk about?" "You know God hates you, right?"
i think it's cute when people are in the stages of finding themselves in high school. #beenthere #donethat #neveragain
WELL THE DISNEY PRINCESSES AREN'T HERE. MIGHT AS WELL GO HOME.
Oh good, my dog found the chainsaw.
POOCKETTTSS I HAVE POCCKETTTSSS
Actually, no. Not just a #girlthing, but an #everybodything. It's respectful, so don't be a douchebag.
Going to look like a huge tool if I walk into class late with Starbucks. #ohwell #priorities