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  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house

    • 3,126
    • FAVS
    iKanwarSCBamaManleashalettesilvanaparolinclitfingercodybginnBLAZEANDALEXBeerforBukowski
    • 2,902
    • RETWEETS
    DMAMA232323leashaletteGorillaOdiclitfingerTexasWeezThose3AmigosDaleCooperFIBLupin528
    GroperClevelandericonederfulSpankMeIm0tymahatmatweetersanbayArroiaThisAlexSteinVikeeysSecretFredPollackSeanX3_theigirlseagullski__
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave

    • 3,126
    • FAVS
    iKanwarsnowdoernchen__bea_kervulcan_kellyPurpletimewhat_a_messsRichBeingRichDirtyHalt
    • 2,756
    • RETWEETS
    iKanwarvulcan_kellyabhishekjajodiaRichBeingRichwewakesaynoyKiranmayi_MyogaplantsFazio_N
    BromanConsulpbear79ScreaminZeman____CaptainObtuse
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals

    • 2,921
    • FAVS
    iKanwarrosek2281stEvilWenchMystique1975cozbelligerentshewahenehamymesatachachimax1
    • 2,171
    • RETWEETS
    iKanwarrosek228cozbelligerentLillyKashishianshewahenehamymesataroshanabssweetg35
    what_a_messsdaniel_shawpainted_eelrollsyrollsyGreeneyedMofo1BigMickIrishVinIvsy01__sameblacklist____brainscabskidphonicispypanda
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family

    • 2,359
    • FAVS
    iKanwarStolenTweets101snowdoernchen__bea_kergigipicolavulcan_kellyRichBeingRichFazio_N
    • 2,662
    • RETWEETS
    iKanwarStolenTweets101vulcan_kellyRichBeingRichSpaced_Cowboy00beefman138candidartichokeadriannaxx__
    Johnny_RedonzoLIWIKZBrianSaetre_vacant___________bucmachine
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    What if Jamie Lee Curtis is still in Lindsay Lohan’s body and she’s the one ruining her reputation

    • 2,520
    • FAVS
    snowdoernchen__bea_kergigipicolajcschmiederBigbadDarrylohpeetievulcan_kellyRichBeingRich
    • 2,112
    • RETWEETS
    vulcan_kellyRichBeingRichAJohnstone76rmfnorddoralransonet17dueceImsohoppyJuliousPatrick
    iamfaseShrinkMediajoeljeffreyCatLitterGirl____littlekitnerboyWhosTheresa
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I was so high I cried because I realized snakes are just tails with faces

    • 2,393
    • FAVS
    StolenTweets101cozbelligerentsnowdoernchen__Alexolson70bea_kerABATD_gigipicolaComatose_Bat
    • 1,398
    • RETWEETS
    StolenTweets101Rodeo_Pridebeingthatgirl43mctattletaleComatose_Batohpeetievulcan_kellyphilandher96
    HALFniteStand__holypurgatoryBrianhopecomedyHrBrybrakcoh3ll0d0llykarencreets______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing

    • 1,864
    • FAVS
    StolenTweets101Plasticapcozbelligerentsnowdoernchen__bea_kerSuperfluousMehook8669everydayeyedie
    • 1,520
    • RETWEETS
    StolenTweets101hook8669gigipicolavulcan_kellyTheJakePitnarco_slothraptor567Tante_Trude
    jfrank50ChipKellysBallsJosesLovesYouIlovelamp1979Scigglez__________SunnyGirl1717KingPatrick24SCBamaMantokencharlie______ashleycremMadameSnippy______urbusta
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who the fuck is not buying toilet paper?

    • 1,883
    • FAVS
    snowdoernchen__haruhi_crimsonDeAnnaCaicarebear1128JoeCaiati1Saramacanglo_bonesc12olivas
    • 1,358
    • RETWEETS
    RyBread1992DeAnnaCaiKiraSiobahnxomoriah18MagpieandBeewdiamondxxChelliej_stlkerrysuebooboo
    mrjohntofu_wangweNoLuckWantedSuburbanComaBakeEmAwayToyzHallpassCanadaSteve_hamiltinSUPERJAYBAG______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Books are just dead tattooed trees and that's metal as fuck

    • 1,741
    • FAVS
    snowdoernchen__bea_kervulcan_kellyRichBeingRichFazio_Nphilandher96beefman138tahitisweets
    • 1,297
    • RETWEETS
    philandher96beefman138raykambalauradru6217dueceWechselspannungEmilyMarteenShutUpThatsWho
    stacywawa1Sims_was_heresanbayJaySommerbreatheandlove
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Can we talk about the word queue

    How many of those letters are really necessary

    I count one

    • 1,429
    • FAVS
    iKanwarsnowdoernchen__bea_kervulcan_kellyRichBeingRichbeefman138financechargedoralransonet
    • 1,159
    • RETWEETS
    beefman138her0ineoftimefinancechargedoralransonetLovablePoetlauradru6217dueceKatieBurnett
    WhatevaConc24HourBitchingClancynonosimprov
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Beyonce made the song "single ladies" then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy

    • 1,104
    • FAVS
    vulcan_kellyFazio_NKitcataliciousbeefman138doralransonetDeepDarkFearBrokeBaldlauradru62
    • 1,322
    • RETWEETS
    beefman138doralransonetBrokeBaldlauradru6217duecelethabomaesela1Sehablaboofrankiebrack
    leontymccarthy
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast

    • 1,512
    • FAVS
    snowdoernchen__stellarhouserbrennanicole12kevinjmac17RichBeingRichDirtyHaltfauxpaws2010MollyGoo
    • 884
    • RETWEETS
    vulcan_kellyRichBeingRichMollyGooFazio_Nmyshha_philandher96beefman138GloHolt
    KatieBurnettJ_Dazzle76rossbransondetroit_etWonderMonkey78RapeyRaperton
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself

    • 1,355
    • FAVS
    iKanwarsnowdoernchen__vulcan_kellyRichBeingRichFazio_Nbeefman138christina_armandoralransonet
    • 948
    • RETWEETS
    iKanwarRichBeingRichbeefman138doralransonetBrokeBaldsahxradlauradru62954LeenO
    GreyPath1__KendellMaddennigelgodwinholypurgatoryserialmatrixCuddleYourCatVoiceofgarthitmurrayDeanB15
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Dad: Why are you eyes so red, son?

    Son: I smoked weed, dad

    Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you are a faggot

    • 1,290
    • FAVS
    snowdoernchen__RichBeingRichbeefman138lauradru62daniel_shawNo_tact_herericci280holyjunkbuckets
    • 841
    • RETWEETS
    RichBeingRichJulesC70jumpdasharkDanikaRaychelleNdeshi_Mrabbithole423JonEkerwaldRdrJay47
    spcycucumberAirGuitarHeros__GarreTheFerretu_jellicentToneLoOnTheGonavesssaJosesLovesYouJizzIam__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Ain't no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets

    • 1,256
    • FAVS
    snowdoernchen__RichBeingRichCharmingGrumperinberrypiephilandher96beefman138doralransonetGinRumMe
    • 670
    • RETWEETS
    schpyduhCharmingGrumperinberrypiephilandher96beefman138doralransonetlauradru62No_tact_here
    Clancygarth0ff__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I hate how if a woman has sex with a bunch of guys she’s considered a slut, but if a guy does the exact same thing, he’s ‘gay’

    • 1,052
    • FAVS
    snowdoernchen__vulcan_kellyRichBeingRichFazio_Nbeefman138doralransonetlauradru62OneSmartFellow__
    • 656
    • RETWEETS
    RichBeingRichbeefman138doralransonetlauradru62No_tact_hereDeanDesign101JulesC70deceased2045
    katy_baybay
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9.30pm

    • 1,058
    • FAVS
    snowdoernchen__atomicityxohpeetiecece2820vulcan_kellyRichBeingRichFazio_NDarkerWillow
    • 629
    • RETWEETS
    cece2820vulcan_kellySteveKoehler22beefman138shewitschdoralransonetlauradru62IlaIitope
    almostheavenly
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    People are far too concerned with the sexual orientation of people they aren’t having sex with

    • 785
    • FAVS
    snowdoernchen__stellarhouserdancinggibbyatomicityxRichBeingRichDarkerWillowsiddo471SteveKoehler22
    • 539
    • RETWEETS
    pretty0Gurlvulcan_kellysiddo471SteveKoehler22beefman138doralransonetBrokeBaldlauradru62
    bornmiserable__Anita_napMs_Laser
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I'm gonna name my firstborn “arial”
    and people will be like “oh like the mermaid” and i’ll say “no like the font”

    • 794
    • FAVS
    snowdoernchen__Fazio_Nsiddo471SteveKoehler22beefman138OhighIsisOneOfTheseNites__doralransonet
    • 381
    • RETWEETS
    siddo471beefman138OhighIsisOneOfTheseNites__doralransonetbetowmxlejehnWarWithMyMind
    jewfacekillajakob_huberjavachipdreams
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music” but when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot”

    • 541
    • FAVS
    ShrutiMishraRoxjannable9KatelynRegierVarOOmVarOOmm0ndreajealouslouversfreaklennonLaBelleMae
    • 596
    • RETWEETS
    VarOOmVarOOmmfreaklennonLaBelleMaestunglungy__mrtruthandsouldmhindmanFalcon_WolfBrett_Fujioka
    peeznuts
@cervixsmash

@cervixsmash

http://favstar.fm/users/cervixsmash

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