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  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave

    • 2,681
    • FAVS
    Ivsy01BlaineBruceScottRipem99Jay_FrickinLynnOliviaScickjamjooomahspenceraldenYogi_Jane
    • 2,441
    • RETWEETS
    BlaineBruceJay_FrickinLynnmelntheunicornsNathanBugg1jamjooomahseolattaNifferyelsasexual
    BromanConsulpbear79ScreaminZemanCaptainObtuse
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house

    • 2,419
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynnDebraMuffinopenchakraheatlebjornBlowsbyVictoria_WahldildointheroughKappa_Kappa
    • 2,355
    • RETWEETS
    Azzurro305Jay_FrickinLynnNick_Faxon_will_rollinsdildointheroughTheDevileshManar_Roshdy3amoorz
    SpankMeIm0tymahatmatweetersanbayArroiaThisAlexSteinVikeeysSecretFredPollackseanx3_theigirlseagullski
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family

    • 2,160
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynnWecallitSarcasmAlesithymiaDisNigsCrazyDebraMuffinSanwal22JakeQuakeobLonely_Slice
    • 2,562
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnH_CosgroveDebraMuffinduplica123westheweaselLonely_SliceMelissaBusyBeeyourockmysock
    Johnny_RedonzoDJLIWIKZBrianSaetre_vacant___________bucmachine
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals

    • 2,647
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynnAlesithymiaOfficialMrSalamLukeWhitoDebraMuffinjackiem86503465squirrel74wkgnWarWithMyMind
    • 1,983
    • RETWEETS
    prettypinkdotsJay_FrickinLynnOfficialMrSalamDebraMuffinjackiem86503465WarWithMyMindVenusRockHobbitGBRougecity
    painted_eelrollsyrollsyGreeneyedManiac1BigMickIrishVinIvsy01sameblacklist____brainscabskidphonicispypanda
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    What if Jamie Lee Curtis is still in Lindsay Lohan’s body and she’s the one ruining her reputation

    • 2,411
    • FAVS
    erinlaceywilsonNicoleroxxuJay_FrickinLynn1par8headWarWithMyMindVenusRockHobbitWilliamRodgersShadysk8tr
    • 2,059
    • RETWEETS
    Aandrade24Jay_FrickinLynnWarWithMyMindVenusRockHobbitLorieGZRealShaughnN_u_n_y_ashannonjrox
    iamfaseShrinkMediajoeljeffreyCatLitterGirl____littlekitnerboyWhosTheresa
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I was so high I cried because I realized snakes are just tails with faces

    • 2,159
    • FAVS
    vendetti42Jay_FrickinLynnsquirrel74wkgndentissimo_in_erick_214Lonely_SliceMelissaBusyBee7aiyou
    • 1,265
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynn_erick_214alex_lawless98iorishirosphanisonphireshinyremade2324uberhaxornoS0FTGRUNGE
    BrianhopecomedyHrBrybrakcoh3ll0d0llykarencreets______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who the fuck is not buying toilet paper?

    • 1,727
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynnsquirrel74wkgn1evilidiotSilverBadger1par8headVenusRockHobbitRubyScotlandGBRougecity
    • 1,257
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnSilverBadgerVenusRockHobbitmarvinUGBGBogie01JayCee302________NinaRamadanJuicedballs
    mrjohntofu_wangweNoLuckWantedSuburbanComaBakeEmAwayToyzHallpassCanadaSteve_hamiltinSUPERJAYBAG______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing

    • 1,569
    • FAVS
    YogaButterfly_Jay_FrickinLynnOliviaScickScottMcGrath4ericalanbowerRabiyaZafarSizzleReelLindseyHerin
    • 1,300
    • RETWEETS
    YogaButterfly_Jay_FrickinLynnScottMcGrath4tybosoileauJuliaCollettRudewarrior83willowbeckero_rude
    jfrank50ChipKellysBallsJosesLovesYouIlovelamp1979Scigglez__________SunnyGirl1717KingPatrick24SCBamaMantokencharlie______ashleycremMadameSnippy______urbusta
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Books are just dead tattooed trees and that's metal as fuck

    • 1,409
    • FAVS
    BlackTurnsBlueerinlaceywilsonNDizzzle24LaydeeLockettAlongCameAnjaJay_FrickinLynnISHYUHBOIalistaircg
    • 1,068
    • RETWEETS
    theotherannabeljblack8it97scorpiosophistisquidsLaydeeLockettAlongCameAnjathe_hedgehog177Jay_FrickinLynn
    Sims_was_heresanbayJaySommerbreatheandlove
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    My internet addiction is getting alt of ctrl

    • 1,455
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynnahoychoi1evilidiothey_brother1Sims_was_here1st_Disciple1par8headVenusRockHobbit
    • 943
    • RETWEETS
    teamosupREEMoJay_FrickinLynnhey_brother1Sims_was_hereVenusRockHobbitNURGLEAVEST5anarchicwolfLurkAtHomeMom
    Xalqeeella__fraser
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Beyonce made the song "single ladies" then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy

    • 1,044
    • FAVS
    linnyloo12theotherannabelgregg_marcyJay_FrickinLynnfelis_lleoAlecAbbasiMuseAmuseHappyCece3
    • 1,293
    • RETWEETS
    teamosupREEMosophistisquidsClaireCarpentahthe_hedgehog177Jay_FrickinLynnfelis_lleoSilverBadger1evilidiot
    leontymccarthy
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Can we talk about the word queue

    How many of those letters are really necessary

    I count one

    • 1,177
    • FAVS
    anditsjigseancolerangregg_marcyJay_FrickinLynnbarryd2112sonofdicksonInfoMissBlogsheilamoles
    • 1,019
    • RETWEETS
    eborg01gregg_marcyJay_FrickinLynnbarryd2112sonofdicksonInfoMissBlogReaKrystineBedelia924
    24HourBitchingClancynonosimprov
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast

    • 1,337
    • FAVS
    ThatDangIndiansapioatheistJay_FrickinLynngautamdharanTextuallyActivecesarAalvarezGamaPehlwan1par8head
    • 779
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnalistaircghermithamDebraMuffinGamaPehlwanVenusRockHobbitMrTallPaul1roygbiv45
    J_Dazzle76rossbransondetroit_etWonderMonkey78RapeyRaperton
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Dad: Why are you eyes so red, son?

    Son: I smoked weed, dad

    Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you are a faggot

    • 1,247
    • FAVS
    Beard_HorowitzJay_FrickinLynnOliviaScickAlesithymiagautamdharanBobinhidingDebraMuffinnyax6
    • 826
    • RETWEETS
    Stun_OneEvilSmurf_NopeJay_FrickinLynnalistaircgemannyvgautamdharanDebraMuffinMURDERSHAZ
    spcycucumberAirGuitarHerosGarreTheFerretu_jellicentToneLoOnTheGonavesssaJosesLovesYouJizzIam__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Ain't no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets

    • 1,201
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynnDebraMuffinVicFuturethisislizzAKackleyolievlluckleprechaun1squirrel74wkgn
    • 646
    • RETWEETS
    prettypinkdotsJay_FrickinLynnDebraMuffinMariahAnnCarneyVicFutureAKackleyluckleprechaun1squirrel74wkgn
    Clancygarth0ff
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself

    • 1,110
    • FAVS
    CameltoesmcgeeTeriBussartjuanmontoyaflickrfumessapioatheistJay_FrickinLynnDebraMuffinklaashinkof
    • 731
    • RETWEETS
    QueefBurritoflickrfumessapioatheistSandyEggoMonkJay_FrickinLynnRizwanRizwan1klaashinkofCheetoe4
    holypurgatoryserialmatrixRatBatallionVoiceofgarthitmurrayDeanB15
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If a white woman goes to the Caribbean and doesn't get cornrows did the trip even happen?

    • 1,031
    • FAVS
    luvmyADHDSmoothDoug_liannaaanoahb180DrJ512TweetGyorgisquirming_stoicmikeyvader
    • 745
    • RETWEETS
    Hmkhitarda_tootinatorSimplyTibyYogaButterfly_MILFDianewynn_nicoleFemmeFatale937dillsmypickle
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Calm your tit. Just one tit. Leave the other one crazy and out of control. That's your party tit

    • 1,065
    • FAVS
    willowbeckerKali_Murabrianbowman73kwirkyKerri44warriors_AlHumphriesskullpuppy11poshbirdgabi
    • 703
    • RETWEETS
    pressy4piekwirkyKerridogsmycopilotskullpuppy11Quag_SwagChuckChinaskiL_Kellerrrpokemon_bawlz
    ibid78MandyUncleJesssicle
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I hate how if a woman has sex with a bunch of guys she’s considered a slut, but if a guy does the exact same thing, he’s ‘gay’

    • 965
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynnAlesithymiaWHEREISWALTJNR_whatever88DebraMuffin1evilidiotVenusRockHobbitGBRougecity
    • 604
    • RETWEETS
    Stun_OneJay_FrickinLynnjollyfingersDebraMuffinVenusRockHobbitfading_roses19EricEaton1JoshuaNWise
    katy_baybay
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9.30pm

    • 974
    • FAVS
    sapioatheistaugustuswallsJay_FrickinLynnMastersSub4tootallbcAnAverageGiantmooyainiSuburbanComa
    • 584
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynntootallbcgirlwithsomethoAnAverageGianthariharan_92DebraMuffinNerdsDigMeenkerich
    almostheavenly
@cervixsmash

@cervixsmash

http://favstar.fm/users/cervixsmash