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  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave

    • 3,121
    • FAVS
    what_a_messsRichBeingRichDirtyHaltfauxpaws2010yogaplantsFazio_NbeccafacexoCockSnake
    • 2,754
    • RETWEETS
    abhishekjajodiaRichBeingRichwewakesaynoyKiranmayi_MyogaplantsFazio_NStanford0372Capn350
    BromanConsulpbear79ScreaminZeman____CaptainObtuse
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house

    • 3,001
    • FAVS
    BaconF00Theffroatlargewhat_a_messsRichBeingRichMVMerilainenHCJormaFlynnifiedCheesy_J
    • 2,813
    • RETWEETS
    kayleebxosanclemente_94heffroatlargeadiz0rHCJormaLPG_RBLXCyanBahamutArceusGreen
    GroperClevelandericonederfulSpankMeIm0tymahatmatweetersanbayArroiaThisAlexSteinVikeeysSecretFredPollackSeanX3_theigirlseagullski__
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals

    • 2,907
    • FAVS
    what_a_messsRichBeingRichfauxpaws2010MyNamesN0t_RickFazio_NbeccafacexoCapn350Spaced_Cowboy00
    • 2,155
    • RETWEETS
    Fazio_NSpaced_Cowboy00beefman138doralransonetmodernquixote17dueceFelicityBlue1frankiebrack
    daniel_shawpainted_eelrollsyrollsyGreeneyedMofo1BigMickIrishVinIvsy01__sameblacklist____brainscabskidphonicispypanda
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family

    • 2,353
    • FAVS
    RichBeingRichFazio_NbeccafacexoCockSnakeSpaced_Cowboy00beefman138nstar241hharriz
    • 2,659
    • RETWEETS
    RichBeingRichSpaced_Cowboy00beefman138candidartichokeadriannaxx__m72plpafemmecutieTizrulingzworld
    Johnny_RedonzoLIWIKZBrianSaetre_vacant___________bucmachine
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    What if Jamie Lee Curtis is still in Lindsay Lohan’s body and she’s the one ruining her reputation

    • 2,513
    • FAVS
    RichBeingRichFazio_Nbeefman138candidartichokecrazyblondeladyDesktopSuckarmfnorddoralransonet
    • 2,111
    • RETWEETS
    RichBeingRichAJohnstone76rmfnorddoralransonet17dueceImsohoppyJuliousPatrickLosLos__
    iamfaseShrinkMediajoeljeffreyCatLitterGirl____littlekitnerboyWhosTheresa
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I was so high I cried because I realized snakes are just tails with faces

    • 2,384
    • FAVS
    RichBeingRichFazio_Nbeccafacexophilandher96beefman138rmfnorddoralransonetJennarater
    • 1,391
    • RETWEETS
    philandher96beefman138doralransonetJennaraterseegers1975PeerRadio17duecelethabomaesela1
    HALFniteStand__holypurgatoryBrianhopecomedyHrBrybrakcoh3ll0d0llykarencreets______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing

    • 1,796
    • FAVS
    mirciferShellwomantrisha_divine_chaoschimes_dhinata1394emilieriksenKyleCinVailThe_Attidude
    • 1,457
    • RETWEETS
    OmorkaconfidentsobaKrinSynrealgreybobOveractorwillsdarkladyGear2LuffyTeeDotally
    jfrank50ChipKellysBallsJosesLovesYouIlovelamp1979Scigglez__________SunnyGirl1717KingPatrick24SCBamaMantokencharlie______ashleycremMadameSnippy______urbusta
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who the fuck is not buying toilet paper?

    • 1,862
    • FAVS
    RichBeingRichFazio_Ncynthiajo1458beefman138candidartichokermfnorddoralransonetGryStGrl75
    • 1,341
    • RETWEETS
    beefman138candidartichokermfnordtahitisweetsdoralransonetlauradru6217dueceNo_tact_here
    mrjohntofu_wangweNoLuckWantedSuburbanComaBakeEmAwayToyzHallpassCanadaSteve_hamiltinSUPERJAYBAG______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Books are just dead tattooed trees and that's metal as fuck

    • 1,738
    • FAVS
    RichBeingRichFazio_Nphilandher96beefman138tahitisweetsBrokeBaldGryStGrl75lauradru62
    • 1,297
    • RETWEETS
    philandher96beefman138raykambalauradru6217dueceWechselspannungEmilyMarteenShutUpThatsWho
    stacywawa1Sims_was_heresanbayJaySommerbreatheandlove
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Can we talk about the word queue

    How many of those letters are really necessary

    I count one

    • 1,425
    • FAVS
    RichBeingRichbeefman138financechargedoralransonetBrokeBaldManCrackLovablePoetlauradru62
    • 1,159
    • RETWEETS
    beefman138her0ineoftimefinancechargedoralransonetLovablePoetlauradru6217dueceKatieBurnett
    WhatevaConc24HourBitchingClancynonosimprov
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    My internet addiction is getting alt of ctrl

    • 1,513
    • FAVS
    TayReneeCliftonkevinjmac17fauxpaws2010MyNamesN0t_RickFazio_Nbeefman138doralransonetlauradru62
    • 976
    • RETWEETS
    NicholasMaroneyBlowPatrickJConnor_snamuoy_relytFazio_Nbeefman138tahitisweetsdoralransonet
    Xalqeeella__fraser
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Beyonce made the song "single ladies" then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy

    • 1,103
    • FAVS
    Fazio_NKitcataliciousbeefman138doralransonetDeepDarkFearBrokeBaldlauradru6217duece
    • 1,322
    • RETWEETS
    beefman138doralransonetBrokeBaldlauradru6217duecelethabomaesela1Sehablaboofrankiebrack
    leontymccarthy
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast

    • 1,509
    • FAVS
    kevinjmac17RichBeingRichDirtyHaltfauxpaws2010MollyGoomollmemaybeFazio_Nhellogiggles12
    • 883
    • RETWEETS
    RichBeingRichMollyGooFazio_Nmyshha_philandher96beefman138GloHoltNO_F_ing_Filter
    KatieBurnettJ_Dazzle76rossbransondetroit_etWonderMonkey78RapeyRaperton
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself

    • 1,352
    • FAVS
    RichBeingRichFazio_Nbeefman138christina_armandoralransonetBrokeBaldlauradru62yossarian2852
    • 947
    • RETWEETS
    RichBeingRichbeefman138doralransonetBrokeBaldsahxradlauradru62954LeenOroseannebyrne
    GreyPath1__AHoundNamedAlbanigelgodwinholypurgatoryserialmatrixCuddleYourCatVoiceofgarthitmurrayDeanB15
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Dad: Why are you eyes so red, son?

    Son: I smoked weed, dad

    Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you are a faggot

    • 1,289
    • FAVS
    RichBeingRichbeefman138lauradru62daniel_shawNo_tact_herericci280holyjunkbucketsJulesC70
    • 841
    • RETWEETS
    RichBeingRichJulesC70jumpdasharkDanikaRaychelleNdeshi_Mrabbithole423JonEkerwaldRdrJay47
    spcycucumberAirGuitarHeros__GarreTheFerretu_jellicentToneLoOnTheGonavesssaJosesLovesYouJizzIam__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Ain't no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets

    • 1,255
    • FAVS
    RichBeingRichCharmingGrumperinberrypiephilandher96beefman138doralransonetGinRumMelauradru62
    • 670
    • RETWEETS
    schpyduhCharmingGrumperinberrypiephilandher96beefman138doralransonetlauradru62No_tact_here
    Clancygarth0ff__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I hate how if a woman has sex with a bunch of guys she’s considered a slut, but if a guy does the exact same thing, he’s ‘gay’

    • 1,050
    • FAVS
    RichBeingRichFazio_Nbeefman138doralransonetlauradru62OneSmartFellowShutUpThatsWhodaniel_shaw
    • 656
    • RETWEETS
    RichBeingRichbeefman138doralransonetlauradru62No_tact_hereDeanDesign101JulesC70deceased2045
    katy_baybay
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9.30pm

    • 1,053
    • FAVS
    RichBeingRichFazio_NDarkerWillowSteveKoehler22beefman138bruce_yatesDeltaAlphaNove1K8Austen
    • 627
    • RETWEETS
    SteveKoehler22beefman138shewitschdoralransonetlauradru62IlaIitopetatenandeOneSmartFellow
    almostheavenly
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    People are far too concerned with the sexual orientation of people they aren’t having sex with

    • 781
    • FAVS
    RichBeingRichDarkerWillowsiddo471SteveKoehler22breatheandlovebeefman138doralransonetBrokeBald
    • 537
    • RETWEETS
    siddo471SteveKoehler22beefman138doralransonetBrokeBaldlauradru62iDreamof_UBabygenius264
    bornmiserableAnita_napMs_Laser
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I'm gonna name my firstborn “arial”
    and people will be like “oh like the mermaid” and i’ll say “no like the font”

    • 793
    • FAVS
    Fazio_Nsiddo471SteveKoehler22beefman138OhighIsisOneOfTheseNitesdoralransonetlauradru62
    • 381
    • RETWEETS
    siddo471beefman138OhighIsisOneOfTheseNitesdoralransonetbetowmxlejehnWarWithMyMind
    jewfacekillajakob_huberjavachipdreams
@cervixsmash

@cervixsmash

http://favstar.fm/users/cervixsmash

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