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  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave

    • 3,040
    • FAVS
    HoodSliderheffroatlargegracesonnierredhock65ElKnuckelhombrei_StellaJohnreelman1010imfuckedanyways
    • 2,694
    • RETWEETS
    OohLaLa_TrampCtchandler247Lonely_SliceheffroatlargeOkieGirl405imfuckedanywaysTlaxBoy05MadDamMusic
    BromanConsulpbear79ScreaminZeman____CaptainObtuse
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house

    • 2,883
    • FAVS
    sherrymparkeredhock65i_StellaJohnimfuckedanywaysTlaxBoy05SDPlissken1Dukeyla_Ktdcrimsonking
    • 2,757
    • RETWEETS
    sherrymparkerRuffbintaOkieGirl405imfuckedanywaysTlaxBoy05NJ_McLeanJoeyLemonsgemlewis1994
    GroperClevelandericonederfulSpankMeIm0tymahatmatweetersanbayArroiaThisAlexSteinVikeeysSecretFredPollackseanx3_theigirlseagullski__
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals

    • 2,866
    • FAVS
    WheresRobPresssherrymparkeri_StellaJohnimfuckedanywaysrayyyychTlaxBoy05SilleViomooshkabean69
    • 2,129
    • RETWEETS
    Hatfield1231RobHicks20WheresRobPresssherrymparkerOkieGirl405imfuckedanywayschris_erdmanTlaxBoy05
    painted_eelrollsyrollsyGreeneyedMofo1BigMickIrishVinIvsy01sameblacklist____brainscabskidphonicispypanda
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family

    • 2,319
    • FAVS
    caribelliKingSully20LakeyHitztylarfugate3SummerloveX0tyronempagehkhaleysfalling
    • 2,639
    • RETWEETS
    thecuznedbunnychanxCYBER__WOLFBigBameTheoryTySmithdrumssherrymparkerBeeJayCee02Ruffbinta
    Johnny_RedonzoDJLIWIKZBrianSaetre_vacant___________bucmachine
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    What if Jamie Lee Curtis is still in Lindsay Lohan’s body and she’s the one ruining her reputation

    • 2,484
    • FAVS
    imfuckedanywaysrayyyychTlaxBoy05Topcat_007skullpuppy11TnucTewONECTGIRLBiffDangles1980
    • 2,097
    • RETWEETS
    imfuckedanywaysrayyyychTlaxBoy05Topcat_007tbbucsbabeanncairns_annTnucTewjumpdashark
    iamfaseShrinkMediajoeljeffreyCatLitterGirl____littlekitnerboyWhosTheresa
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I was so high I cried because I realized snakes are just tails with faces

    • 2,346
    • FAVS
    cherylpostlethwimfuckedanywaysTlaxBoy05myuuureeRandomManikJulesC70Kappa_Kappatbbucsbabe
    • 1,371
    • RETWEETS
    cherylpostlethwpariwartanbasn1imfuckedanywaysTlaxBoy05JulesC70MooseHerBeaverskullpuppy11roosterteef
    HALFniteStand__holypurgatoryBrianhopecomedyHrBrybrakcoh3ll0d0llykarencreets______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who the fuck is not buying toilet paper?

    • 1,846
    • FAVS
    TallIrishOneBoobzAndBrainzHaylestweetsxXChicagoKarinaimfuckedanywaysFloydSmitheeJulesC70jover_loint
    • 1,333
    • RETWEETS
    AnittaBettypariwartanbasn1BoobzAndBrainzxXChicagoKarinaimfuckedanywaysJulesC70NatalieMaMartinLexi_Gj
    mrjohntofu_wangweNoLuckWantedSuburbanComaBakeEmAwayToyzHallpassCanadaSteve_hamiltinSUPERJAYBAG______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing

    • 1,690
    • FAVS
    imfuckedanywaysTlaxBoy05D_elliott2013lllvvvzzzmojosarmyJulesC70laladea28eTHEgoddess
    • 1,400
    • RETWEETS
    pariwartanbasn1imfuckedanywayschris_erdmanD_elliott2013TlaxBoy05JulesC70kjbjrj69shadesoftaar
    jfrank50ChipKellysBallsJosesLovesYouIlovelamp1979Scigglez__________SunnyGirl1717KingPatrick24SCBamaMantokencharlie______ashleycremMadameSnippy______urbusta
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Books are just dead tattooed trees and that's metal as fuck

    • 1,729
    • FAVS
    MoojanggruraljulesMattRoberts29beefybooyawntorchedcrotchFloodyHippieHoodSliderFrankie5_Angels
    • 1,291
    • RETWEETS
    PorbhubMattRoberts29beefybooyawnGonzo4everWayFloodyHippieLeahAlgulllvvvzzzmsidhu_
    stacywawa1Sims_was_heresanbayJaySommerbreatheandlove
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Can we talk about the word queue

    How many of those letters are really necessary

    I count one

    • 1,406
    • FAVS
    jule207_marnelizabethtwitleyXOvalzhoganimfuckedanywaysAmyWill62863570heatherlou_TlaxBoy05
    • 1,148
    • RETWEETS
    RobHicks20Rich_Newton_pariwartanbasn1imfuckedanywaysheatherlou_TlaxBoy05JulesC70favstar_history
    WhatevaConc24HourBitchingClancynonosimprov
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    My internet addiction is getting alt of ctrl

    • 1,503
    • FAVS
    LjFrancoissimfuckedanywaysTlaxBoy05mojosarmyJulesC70AmandaBootesoutatownstrangealex_torres007
    • 967
    • RETWEETS
    imfuckedanywaysTlaxBoy05JulesC70jumpdasharkAstroKidAronstacywawa1chilledharry211rabbithole423
    Xalqeeella__fraser
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Beyonce made the song "single ladies" then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy

    • 1,081
    • FAVS
    imfuckedanywaysJulesC70Im_Ayeeshaalex_torres007jumpdasharkTr8ner69haolegurl808Ndeshi_M
    • 1,310
    • RETWEETS
    pariwartanbasn1imfuckedanywaysJulesC70jumpdasharkFaTeemssJandeTersoofloffyk16Preety_flvcko
    leontymccarthy
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself

    • 1,338
    • FAVS
    Lonely_Slicelana_manilowturntup_arpieIsHisNamerdoodyigorzmumAgentEllis5150mx
    • 942
    • RETWEETS
    candymethRichardTecoJrWaypoint5igorzmumDevonSarentinobillfraley212mommeadows2000AgentEllis
    GreyPath1AHoundNamedAlbanigelgodwinholypurgatoryserialmatrixCuddleYourCatVoiceofgarthitmurrayDeanB15
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast

    • 1,407
    • FAVS
    FloydSmitheeJulesC70neledmaxjover_lointOfficeLinebckerdocjommdBadaBingealex_torres007
    • 818
    • RETWEETS
    DeanDesign101JulesC70neledmaxBadaBingeAnnawtbIfUKnwWhtIMeanVER0NICAMAYTheRealAnchovy
    J_Dazzle76rossbransondetroit_etWonderMonkey78RapeyRaperton
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Dad: Why are you eyes so red, son?

    Son: I smoked weed, dad

    Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you are a faggot

    • 1,284
    • FAVS
    ricci280holyjunkbucketsJulesC70jover_lointalex_torres007drugsandbonerslgbk44jumpdashark
    • 840
    • RETWEETS
    JulesC70jumpdasharkDanikaRaychelleNdeshi_Mrabbithole423JonEkerwaldRdrJay47highflyingmomma
    spcycucumberAirGuitarHeros__GarreTheFerretu_jellicentToneLoOnTheGonavesssaJosesLovesYouJizzIam__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Calm your tit. Just one tit. Leave the other one crazy and out of control. That's your party tit

    • 1,168
    • FAVS
    msidhu_CVTBabyItalianBratikusiNsPiReD_Munktoastyveegreen_eyed_dollRawdnehChief_Erl
    • 771
    • RETWEETS
    JennaraterChief_ErlImaFlyontheWallheatherlou_UsetobeabastardHalf_Quixoticrabbithole423poppy_daydreams
    TheRealAnchovyibid78MandyUncle________Jesssicle
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Ain't no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets

    • 1,241
    • FAVS
    JulesC70enigmaticmessNdeshi_Mkrishna_vanmrbiggforealkapow_7TheRealRHBwestcoastphinz
    • 662
    • RETWEETS
    JulesC70thenickideestacywawa1rabbithole423SherBoBerjohnwardbrocatocoreymarie89kv8
    Clancygarth0ff__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If a white woman goes to the Caribbean and doesn't get cornrows did the trip even happen?

    • 1,085
    • FAVS
    mavisgwinJulesC70Fyrekrakr73_leinyyjon_aley2thestreetzToastburglarjidu1980
    • 766
    • RETWEETS
    RobHicks20JulesC70machojeff79Fyrekrakr73AdrianaVebel_leinyylordvebaz2thestreetz
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I hate how if a woman has sex with a bunch of guys she’s considered a slut, but if a guy does the exact same thing, he’s ‘gay’

    • 1,040
    • FAVS
    JulesC70lacharpentaCharaCarboneNick_Petersonalex_torres007jumpdasharkNdeshi_Mstacywawa1
    • 651
    • RETWEETS
    DeanDesign101JulesC70deceased2045jumpdasharkNdeshi_MFunSizeJemjlandmarkSCGreyBeard
    katy_baybay
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9.30pm

    • 1,035
    • FAVS
    NarcissusMaxmusRideTheLlamaHormonelladucksoup_UnFitztheuglydrewsophie_diddlesAmishPornStar1
    • 619
    • RETWEETS
    soMarianaxxSaucyCleverClogkcappphypochromiarichgreenjrCasz1eRantdogAmishPornStar1
    almostheavenly
@cervixsmash

@cervixsmash

http://favstar.fm/users/cervixsmash