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  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave

    • 2,967
    • FAVS
    MsMac287_TheGoodssYesImMattDr_awfulpantsOG_SocialWhorekcMcCowgirlDJLIWIKZAlisonWarren
    • 2,643
    • RETWEETS
    MsMac287Rich_Newton_kcMcCowgirlmarrusya6NushhhhhJamalSexEdtheMidwhereAlisonWarren
    BromanConsulpbear79ScreaminZeman____CaptainObtuse
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house

    • 2,659
    • FAVS
    eyelandlifeOG_SocialWhorekcMcCowgirlBanksNigguEvileSkullAHoundNamedAlbaPinkebellya_man_named_JED
    • 2,538
    • RETWEETS
    OG_SocialWhore_TheGoodsskcMcCowgirlmotrboatrJanaedawnClritterlbCIanFHooddreamthievin
    GroperClevelandericonederfulSpankMeIm0tymahatmatweetersanbayArroiaThisAlexSteinVikeeysSecretFredPollackseanx3_theigirlseagullski
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals

    • 2,779
    • FAVS
    MsMac287kcMcCowgirlAHoundNamedAlbaMaAchiengsocietymaniacallvvzzaaronwilliams10EddieHaun
    • 2,074
    • RETWEETS
    MsMac287kcMcCowgirlsocietymaniacalEddieHaunmarvelousCarabensobriCalliWoodruffKodee_S
    painted_eelrollsyrollsyGreeneyedManiac1BigMickIrishVinIvsy01sameblacklist____brainscabskidphonicispypanda
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family

    • 2,222
    • FAVS
    BYGHitsmetrbjunkyard_jakekcMcCowgirlWeezyMiyagiMiss_Kris85MonfwiTheRolo
    • 2,577
    • RETWEETS
    Dark_horse92itsmetrbjunkyard_jakekcMcCowgirlCashRocketkellie_wilfordMustardMcNuggetMonfwi
    Johnny_RedonzoDJLIWIKZBrianSaetre_vacant___________bucmachine
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    What if Jamie Lee Curtis is still in Lindsay Lohan’s body and she’s the one ruining her reputation

    • 2,444
    • FAVS
    MsMac287kcMcCowgirlAHoundNamedAlbagm_cageSclick7DarzieDAMNEmaSlemapizzasauceboss
    • 2,075
    • RETWEETS
    kcMcCowgirlSclick7shurbzblashEmaSlemaMissing_pointadisgracefulFengWei13Comakazi_Fuzz
    iamfaseShrinkMediajoeljeffreyCatLitterGirl____littlekitnerboyWhosTheresa
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I was so high I cried because I realized snakes are just tails with faces

    • 2,298
    • FAVS
    Amber_dudskcMcCowgirlBlackCheesePiemarrusya6brittany_bopscxrtlHALFniteStandreawine
    • 1,341
    • RETWEETS
    _TheGoodsskcMcCowgirlmarrusya6HALFniteStandreawineVickey_39256gm_cagewhyamiheric
    HALFniteStandholypurgatoryBrianhopecomedyHrBrybrakcoh3ll0d0llykarencreets______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who the fuck is not buying toilet paper?

    • 1,803
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirlAHoundNamedAlbafas3050CarStan1114marrusya6ericsshadowrhizomelifeCameron_The_Kid
    • 1,310
    • RETWEETS
    marrusya6RaginJasonrhizomelifeCameron_The_KidyosienaaannaredrueChristianMcBanekikistatic
    mrjohntofu_wangweNoLuckWantedSuburbanComaBakeEmAwayToyzHallpassCanadaSteve_hamiltinSUPERJAYBAG______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing

    • 1,606
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirlstephunkie19gm_cageDarzieDAMNpizzasaucebossComakazi_FuzzPoorPitifulMe____LisaMcAlister1
    • 1,331
    • RETWEETS
    kcMcCowgirlmarrusya6Nishparikh4Comakazi_FuzzLisaMcAlister1ckretmsageattheUCCPBronnWill
    jfrank50ChipKellysBallsJosesLovesYouIlovelamp1979Scigglez__________SunnyGirl1717KingPatrick24SCBamaMantokencharlie______ashleycremMadameSnippy______urbusta
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Books are just dead tattooed trees and that's metal as fuck

    • 1,491
    • FAVS
    _TheGoodsskcMcCowgirlAHoundNamedAlbafletchworld73tnetsirkRichHomieKhan_bekkahsbitchfagsicle
    • 1,128
    • RETWEETS
    kcMcCowgirlAshweeSailsAwayFireLordLidaagrocerykimfagsiclemadisxnnmiguel_veegreenlessgenius
    Sims_was_heresanbayJaySommerbreatheandlove
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    My internet addiction is getting alt of ctrl

    • 1,476
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirlmarrusya6gm_cageDarzieDAMNpizzasaucebossFrenulumBreveComakazi_FuzzMsFucketry
    • 951
    • RETWEETS
    Comakazi_Fuzzwillem_klopperLisaMcAlister1HelloJazzMarieckretmsageattheUCQckhdparhwy
    Xalqeeella__fraser
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Beyonce made the song "single ladies" then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy

    • 1,065
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirldreamthievinForever420inamantha6gm_cageslooberbieCamilleHnatFrenulumBreve
    • 1,299
    • RETWEETS
    gm_cageEmaSlemaSprBooyspunk72yanilovee1sammyj_04Comakazi_FuzzRisssssssaaa
    leontymccarthy
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Can we talk about the word queue

    How many of those letters are really necessary

    I count one

    • 1,213
    • FAVS
    blondecoffeeheyjade96pharmblockafropuff2069gm_cageFayyazBUHhO_OdratxCrystalW
    • 1,051
    • RETWEETS
    raaynamantha6nightshadesirisgm_cageChloe_BlakesleymrhllyrdjosephmaundTheCousinsPlace
    24HourBitchingClancynonosimprov
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself

    • 1,286
    • FAVS
    _aimeesherhodbreth6Ade1965naggalieAHoundNamedAlbadaniel_shawShameless_loverjamitupin
    • 908
    • RETWEETS
    GarbageTeethsubbureddyAHoundNamedAlbawilfrid78Wa_GathoniCOWB0YBEBOPjamitupinNishparikh4
    AHoundNamedAlbanigelgodwinholypurgatoryserialmatrixCuddleYourCatVoiceofgarthitmurrayDeanB15
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast

    • 1,384
    • FAVS
    AHoundNamedAlbamdpakrattfamousanussspharmblockIAMSTONE22afropuff2069gm_cageDarzieDAMN
    • 805
    • RETWEETS
    naggaliemdpakrattamantha6pharmblockgm_cageKristaMcMurrayalaliiixTheGeorgey
    J_Dazzle76rossbransondetroit_etWonderMonkey78RapeyRaperton
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Dad: Why are you eyes so red, son?

    Son: I smoked weed, dad

    Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you are a faggot

    • 1,263
    • FAVS
    EvileSkullmotrboatrfletchworld73DarzieDAMNNATxHANPoe_AllanPoehuitzilopochtlaComakazi_Fuzz
    • 831
    • RETWEETS
    motrboatrComakazi_FuzzQckhdyakionodildointheroughStun_OneEvilSmurf_NopeJay_FrickinLynn
    spcycucumberAirGuitarHeros__GarreTheFerretu_jellicentToneLoOnTheGonavesssaJosesLovesYouJizzIam__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Calm your tit. Just one tit. Leave the other one crazy and out of control. That's your party tit

    • 1,156
    • FAVS
    dreamthievinlacie_lipstikkgm_cageDarzieDAMNEmaSlemaNATxHANFrenulumBrevehuitzilopochtla
    • 765
    • RETWEETS
    ShellyMazurComakazi_Fuzz_bydistancedeipotentdaniAeonOfAnthonyLalaCatastropheBowersCrisCartographyBoy
    ibid78MandyUncle________Jesssicle
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Ain't no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets

    • 1,225
    • FAVS
    Prof_PeejayhannahcyanideGreenestSidegreggoodman77Ancient_MachineBored_Nationludusaitshot_of_cabo
    • 657
    • RETWEETS
    johnwardbrocatocoreymarie89kv8dreamthievinrolaskotoxxpimpdaddysatanbutterflysimingm_cage
    Clancygarth0ff__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If a white woman goes to the Caribbean and doesn't get cornrows did the trip even happen?

    • 1,078
    • FAVS
    gm_cageDarzieDAMNALF_from_TVAineAnisa__openchakradanielleleigh46CrazedJanebarfchan
    • 763
    • RETWEETS
    thatdunkii_DivineeeeOfficerBangtidyroxii_moriiJustForHTRobHick1216dreaminDMgreggjgc79
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I hate how if a woman has sex with a bunch of guys she’s considered a slut, but if a guy does the exact same thing, he’s ‘gay’

    • 1,017
    • FAVS
    ssstormyyyEvileSkullPrastutiBarmandoctorsGalDJLIWIKZmonicasjunglebearcub577UncleKermit
    • 638
    • RETWEETS
    DJLIWIKZJanellLenorebearcub577UncleKermitmotrboatrEmaSlemaClassic_PsychoQckhd
    katy_baybay
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9.30pm

    • 1,008
    • FAVS
    gm_cageComakazi_FuzzpoliticsandsexStickyickyBunsgenerator5000dandaman6200JamieSmittenJoshBielby
    • 599
    • RETWEETS
    leah_fshrAlannaGaglianimarerageShelbyLengyelItsMaxMaherallyzayyDoctor_Mandosarahtahami
    almostheavenly
@cervixsmash

@cervixsmash

http://favstar.fm/users/cervixsmash