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  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave

    • 2,950
    • FAVS
    aurorgiev2sonallakhanpalMisterWarrMSpencerHarmoneminixonchelleariNASHterpieceParrtyCat
    • 2,633
    • RETWEETS
    kaybeeAHouse21boredbeckyviclynn11eminixonAden401UninsprdRTrElgatoEsmio
    BromanConsulpbear79ScreaminZeman____CaptainObtuse
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house

    • 2,649
    • FAVS
    Prof_Peejayflipflopchic3SpitefulMoosedrnothethirdirreligiousorgTeeJayDubbgm_cageRickyScamp
    • 2,536
    • RETWEETS
    JanaedawnClritterlbCIanFHooddreamthievingm_cageLin_BakerAlisonzombielanjtancik
    GroperClevelandericONEderfulSpankMeIm0tymahatmatweetersanbay______ArroiaThisAlexSteinVikeeysSecretFredPollackseanx3_theigirlseagullski
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals

    • 2,775
    • FAVS
    societymaniacallvvzzaaronwilliams10EddieHaunGingerGibbonganephricprojectJohnASinclairsnackpup
    • 2,072
    • RETWEETS
    societymaniacalEddieHaunmarvelousCarabensobriCalliWoodruffKodee_SaliyahbaskindBeany99392948
    painted_eelrollsyrollsyGreeneyedManiac1BigMickIrishVinIvsy01sameblacklist____brainscabskidphonicispypanda
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family

    • 2,198
    • FAVS
    MadameSexpertxyzhxcreviousyoopnativeDHGamerMRzachisabirdgm_cageDarzieDAMN
    • 2,573
    • RETWEETS
    MSpencerHarmonyoopnativeLiesAndLimesDHGamerMRIttyBittyBlakepimpdaddysatangm_cageKamakazi_Mina
    Johnny_RedonzoDJLIWIKZBrianSaetre_vacant___________bucmachine
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    What if Jamie Lee Curtis is still in Lindsay Lohan’s body and she’s the one ruining her reputation

    • 2,441
    • FAVS
    gm_cageSclick7DarzieDAMNEmaSlemapizzasaucebossMissing_pointadisgracefulKamakazi_Mina
    • 2,074
    • RETWEETS
    Sclick7shurbzblashEmaSlemaMissing_pointadisgracefulFengWei13Kamakazi_MinaStaxx_83
    iamfaseShrinkMediajoeljeffreyCatLitterGirl____littlekitnerboyWhosTheresa
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I was so high I cried because I realized snakes are just tails with faces

    • 2,293
    • FAVS
    cxrtlHALFniteStandReagan_BreadVickey_39256Forever420ingm_cageRickyScampecargblanch
    • 1,338
    • RETWEETS
    HALFniteStandReagan_BreadVickey_39256gm_cagewhyamihericskinnyhornVivaLaLita3TRILLROBBINS
    HALFniteStandholypurgatoryBrianhopecomedyHrBrybrakcoh3ll0d0llykarencreets______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who the fuck is not buying toilet paper?

    • 1,780
    • FAVS
    Prof_PeejayqqnquiludusaitEEEHOLAYYYYottokvalzhoganFebWinPinkLipschitz
    • 1,288
    • RETWEETS
    RingoWolfsbloodPinkLipschitzBeastnBitchIanFromCanadadreamthievinRichterchuklovemydogduckgm_cage
    mrjohntofu_wangweNoLuckWantedSuburbanComaBakeEmAwayToyzHallpassCanadaSteve_hamiltinSUPERJAYBAG______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing

    • 1,604
    • FAVS
    gm_cageDarzieDAMNpizzasaucebossKamakazi_MinaPoorPitifulMe____LisaMcAlister1ckretmsagemisworded
    • 1,329
    • RETWEETS
    Nishparikh4Kamakazi_MinaLisaMcAlister1ckretmsageattheUCCPBronnWillparhwyKwenton
    jfrank50ChipKellysBallsJosesLovesYouIlovelamp1979__Scigglez__________SunnyGirl1717KingPatrick24SCBamaMantokencharlie______ashleycremMadameSnippy______urbusta
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Books are just dead tattooed trees and that's metal as fuck

    • 1,489
    • FAVS
    fletchworld73tnetsirkRichHomieKhan_bekkahsbitchfagsiclemdyeezus94eniaishereseaPanda
    • 1,127
    • RETWEETS
    AshweeSailsAwayFireLordLidaagrocerykimfagsiclemadisxnnmiguel_veegreenlessgeniusjxstabird
    Sims_was_heresanbay______JaySommerbreatheandlove
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    My internet addiction is getting alt of ctrl

    • 1,474
    • FAVS
    gm_cageDarzieDAMNpizzasaucebossFrenulumBreveKamakazi_MinaMsFucketrymorespanxLisaMcAlister1
    • 951
    • RETWEETS
    Kamakazi_Minawillem_klopperLisaMcAlister1HelloJazzMarieckretmsageattheUCQckhdparhwy
    Xalqeeella__fraser
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Beyonce made the song "single ladies" then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy

    • 1,064
    • FAVS
    dreamthievinForever420inamantha6gm_cageslooberbieCamilleHnatFrenulumBreveyanilovee1
    • 1,299
    • RETWEETS
    gm_cageEmaSlemaSprBooyspunk72yanilovee1sammyj_04Kamakazi_MinaRisssssssaaa
    leontymccarthy
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Can we talk about the word queue

    How many of those letters are really necessary

    I count one

    • 1,213
    • FAVS
    blondecoffeeheyjade96pharmblockafropuff2069gm_cageFayyazBUHdwaxx_xCrystalW
    • 1,050
    • RETWEETS
    amantha6nightshadesirisgm_cageChloe_BlakesleymrhllyrdjosephmaundTheCousinsPlaceMrs_Bordelon
    24HourBitchingClancynonosimprov
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast

    • 1,383
    • FAVS
    mdpakrattshitkamshitpharmblockIAMSTONE22afropuff2069gm_cageDarzieDAMNNATxHAN
    • 804
    • RETWEETS
    mdpakrattamantha6pharmblockgm_cageKristaMcMurrayalaliiixTheGeorgeylivwilli
    J_Dazzle76rossbransondetroit_etWonderMonkey78RapeyRaperton
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself

    • 1,278
    • FAVS
    gm_cageDarzieDAMNsquirrel74wkgnEmaSlemaNATxHANhbreaker9999Kamakazi_Minaplume__
    • 905
    • RETWEETS
    Nishparikh4Kamakazi_MinaWiseCrackerSoupclick4amandaMossMan_85cosmic_queendrgreenthumbs13JoAmmara
    nigelgodwinholypurgatoryserialmatrixCuddleYourCatVoiceofgarthitmurrayDeanB15
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Dad: Why are you eyes so red, son?

    Son: I smoked weed, dad

    Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you are a faggot

    • 1,261
    • FAVS
    fletchworld73DarzieDAMNNATxHANPoe_AllanPoehuitzilopochtlaKamakazi_MinaQckhddongsoft
    • 830
    • RETWEETS
    Kamakazi_MinaQckhdyakionodildointheroughStun_OneEvilSmurf_NopeJay_FrickinLynnalistaircg
    spcycucumberAirGuitarHerosGarreTheFerretu_jellicentToneLoOnTheGonavesssaJosesLovesYouJizzIam__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Calm your tit. Just one tit. Leave the other one crazy and out of control. That's your party tit

    • 1,156
    • FAVS
    dreamthievinlacie_lipstikkgm_cageDarzieDAMNEmaSlemaNATxHANFrenulumBrevehuitzilopochtla
    • 765
    • RETWEETS
    ShellyMazurKamakazi_Mina_bydistancedeipotentdaniAeonOfAnthonyLalaCatastropheBowersCrisCartographyBoy
    ibid78MandyUncle________Jesssicle
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Ain't no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets

    • 1,225
    • FAVS
    Prof_PeejayhannahcyanideGreenestSidegreggoodman77Ancient_MachineBored_Nationludusaitshot_of_cabo
    • 657
    • RETWEETS
    johnwardbrocatocoreymarie89kv8dreamthievinrolaskotoxxpimpdaddysatanbutterflysimingm_cage
    Clancygarth0ff__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If a white woman goes to the Caribbean and doesn't get cornrows did the trip even happen?

    • 1,078
    • FAVS
    gm_cageDarzieDAMNALF_from_TVAineAnisaopenchakradanielleleigh46CrazedJanebarfchan
    • 763
    • RETWEETS
    roxii_moriiJustForHTRobHick1216dreaminDMgreggjgc79csmith5050hornsfan35FuckBees
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I hate how if a woman has sex with a bunch of guys she’s considered a slut, but if a guy does the exact same thing, he’s ‘gay’

    • 1,008
    • FAVS
    jebriel98gm_cageDarzieDAMNslooberbieKamakazi_MinaJRWoodwardMSWQckhdGrabTheWEness
    • 633
    • RETWEETS
    EmaSlemaClassic_PsychoQckhdsra_solanoparhwyambernicolai_HoVa86RutgerGM
    katy_baybay
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9.30pm

    • 1,008
    • FAVS
    gm_cageKamakazi_MinapoliticsandsexStickyickyBunsgenerator5000dandaman6200JamieSmittenJoshBielby
    • 599
    • RETWEETS
    leah_fshrAlannaGaglianimarerageShelbyLengyelItsMaxMaherallyzayyDoctor_Mandosarahtahami
    almostheavenly
@cervixsmash

@cervixsmash

http://favstar.fm/users/cervixsmash