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  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Gift @cervixsmash Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 3,390
    • LIKES
    1stEvilWenchvee_katpugDNA__mattbakerHiJCPSkinnieTallsTopcat_007itsaysblue
    • 3,065
    • RETWEETS
    SuzieBoozeyvee_katjennithhMichael_McGuirkRuairi_OB__mattbakersammyoriginsSkinnieTalls
    GroperClevelandericonederfulSpankMeIm0tymahatmatweetersanbay__ArroiaThisAlexSteinVikeeysSecretFredPollackCleverDud_theigirlseagullski__
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave

    • 3,283
    • LIKES
    SammyJB121gramashannon11mommywhinessaint1000dawnmarie1204MountainRaptorAirborne949Flawless_Young
    • 2,845
    • RETWEETS
    gramashannon11mommywhinessaint1000alpezcadoblkscholarnjlizperlasTarantulaMILFjade_whiteman
    thejodiestNolaChef504bromanconsulpbear79ScreaminZeman____CaptainObtuse
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals

    • 3,049
    • LIKES
    luckyrio21krismuscookieuncool_teenmomentofgMidnightReisBush_16lexjmaddenRuledamonkeys
    • 2,259
    • RETWEETS
    HappiePotterFelineBengalSunGirl2016BryanCarteanyclinickrismuscookiemomentofgMidnightReis
    what_a_messsdaniel_shawpainted_eelrollsyrollsyGreeneyedMofo__1BigMick__IrishVinIvsy01sameblacklist____brainscabs__kidphonicispypanda__
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I was so high I cried because I realized snakes are just tails with faces

    • 2,411
    • LIKES
    Topcat_007OfficialInderJmexinonblondemr_major_thommisterbrymoAnkCoupleTOChristineVensanTweetTheDude
    • 1,410
    • RETWEETS
    mexinonblondemr_major_thommisterbrymoAnkCoupleTOHusam_DafTweetTheDudeMistressMentalMissNaughty1801__
    HALFniteStand__holypurgatoryBrianhopecomedyHrBrybrakcoh3ll0d0llykarencreets______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Books are just dead tattooed trees and that's metal as fuck

    • 2,159
    • LIKES
    MoneypennyNakedbrokeandwobblynervousxkidshiimmattsDirtyySouthMessDuranduran50GurugramDiariesBella_Famke
    • 1,606
    • RETWEETS
    Duranduran50TematarKetchupAnt_F3ltzDuaaniacbubbleBean_hamzamajeedkhanm0mjawnbobso54
    stacywawa1Sims_was_heresanbay__JaySommerbreatheandlove
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    The first caterpillar to turn into a butterfly must of been like YOOOOOOOOO

    • 1,785
    • LIKES
    Artimis456millieedwards_enkxoosnapcammcgmgt_thejodiestTopcat_007RaquelyOM
    • 1,149
    • RETWEETS
    enkxooMiaf_xmawialennoxharleyxwoodsholxcxnekilbillVOL69AndreSanavitashabartle_
    misterbrymoWhatevaConcJasonBerlin
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast

    • 1,553
    • LIKES
    Topcat_007sheilerrrloveAverageCornersKat_Schoutenart_kit_ThoughtIsFreewertverstellung14oZeichen__
    • 911
    • RETWEETS
    MonkeyPliersAverageCornersPongMasterOne88xOliviaSharpexwittyishkiller_gilleraijatoGundelPundel
    KatieBurnettJ_Dazzle76rossbransondetroit_etWonderMonkey78RapeyRaperton
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself

    • 1,383
    • LIKES
    DRoss317AnkCoupleTOhippocroteezSocialChalleng1LaarsaTulipengelyckshmoothLicramX
    • 952
    • RETWEETS
    will2wavyDRoss317AnkCoupleTOshmoothTommyGuilinFarikoBrainiacTwoScoopsofpeaxinsizionx__
    GreyPath1__KendellMaddennigelgodwinholypurgatoryserialmatrixCuddleYourCatVoiceofgarthitmurrayDeanB15
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Ain't no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets

    • 1,348
    • LIKES
    Topcat_007dougbiesTankCesarBlinkiPiSlave_4_U__itsmetrbAnkCoupleTOHormonella
    • 725
    • RETWEETS
    Topcat_007TankCesarBlinkiPiNadineAgamySlave_4_U__itsmetrbbeaterbarker__AnkCoupleTO
    DanKCharnleyClancygarth0ff__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    All of my systems are nervous

    • 771
    • LIKES
    filmmakerRNOShah_fj24HourBitchingBibiCheretcansofbeanTopcat_007RaquelyOMAverageCorners
    • 536
    • RETWEETS
    filmmakerRNO24HourBitchingBibiCheretaCATassTROPHY__Topcat_007AverageCornersPatrickJuliouskvrbyn
    radtoria
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Why do dogs go mental when they see another dog

    I imagine that in their heads they’re like

    THAT IS DOG

    I AM DOG

    DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG

    • 640
    • LIKES
    itsmetrbAnkCoupleTOHormonellaolnikwikquirkymindcrystinaaaaakevJgmzcaleb_abraham
    • 501
    • RETWEETS
    itsmetrbAnkCoupleTOAishBashirdocta_wattsfoolongchooTheOFlahertyelexusss__FaithMatheny__
    Savage_Scavangek8ieokay
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Do twins ever realize one of them was unplanned

    • 558
    • LIKES
    SamDoh10safsaid23AnkCoupleTOHetvishah261KelliBelleetoilelointaineruraljuleslllvvvzzz
    • 394
    • RETWEETS
    DRoss317AnkCoupleTOAveCralletoilelointainelllvvvzzzHandurdealtwdlebowskiRambleOfaReefer
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    What the fuck even happens inside a dishwasher

    • 467
    • LIKES
    samisboredAF_ThepinkparkaMsTrapoholiccamsan_mister_frijolesGelasticGoGosmilely_gal3sunzzz
    • 236
    • RETWEETS
    dakki3melissaakatrinnGelasticGoGoCammille26bananabeanAnkCoupleTOAveCrallofficeballerina
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Art exists because life is not enough

    • 422
    • LIKES
    misssugarquotedindigofizzpaintedEnigma_robininthegreenBibiCheretAudreyPornepaperphotoyoniveuscurrus
    • 221
    • RETWEETS
    BibiCheretSadieEMillmlccmTrailofSlimeMomOfTeenheffroatlargealexxa_raeeeAnkCoupleTO
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Nice 420 joke the police are on their way

    • 348
    • LIKES
    camille_amendGaryBraun55BoozyMusicAnkCoupleTOchristine_r207ChrisIzAWizardCertainlyBeefleurpunkie
    • 278
    • RETWEETS
    alexxa_raeeeGaryBraun55AnkCoupleTOIxericaxIwicked_gurlll_tweakandtwerkCertainlyBeedrewcaswell
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    My future wife is probably sucking some dick right now. I still love her though

    • 415
    • LIKES
    blamingboredomJaninalapBlackGodsonalexxa_raeeeKirstieValleyms_hannahtneondusk60CassieeFlamm
    • 179
    • RETWEETS
    JackBlackBerryalexxa_raeeeSLorenzen62sanchez_damian1Scott_onDrumsAhhhhOkaybees_wingzPapaDops
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Men who say "yummy" what the fuck is your problem

    • 374
    • LIKES
    The0phaniasarah1mcMRPismeMsTexas1967GlowingFreckles94Lnenadfeministripperwilliams_aimee
    • 191
    • RETWEETS
    The0phaniafeministripperwilliams_aimeeCalzakillasunshyngurlnotrandomrosioPowKaPowBoomGizzapuff
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    My love life will never be satisfactory until someone runs through an airport to stop me from getting on a flight

    • 371
    • LIKES
    kimberbotRaechelRamirezBigDan_LordshewillbloveddStcyBnsnerdillicNubianOR_quesoqueen
    • 194
    • RETWEETS
    __TevitabreeezussssIAmJustice_LittlePegAMcKay__corinnemlwswjifdendekkeKauaibrideamc5848
    iammaylynn__
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Hello 911 my sock is falling down inside my shoe

    • 356
    • LIKES
    RaquelyOMdustyvioletparkerlorenmarimateenavinash9894DanKCharnleyTDeeRockAllyRice
    • 208
    • RETWEETS
    b_tothe_renttblwife718xorobinlynn__Que_BuenoThe0phaniafemmebirddeepak_Das01nerdlicious
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together

    • 324
    • LIKES
    ohheyitszaraJordyPants_asian_8TheDannyDohertyjohnbiehlKaylaaParsonslivewire3791_honky_tonkin
    • 240
    • RETWEETS
    HarrSethjonniearnoldd_honky_tonkinLoPanTheWiserobinbobofrancess_xoKadrineLee__MrHamzaaa
@cervixsmash

@cervixsmash

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