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  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave

    • 2,711
    • FAVS
    Ms_KetopunmagnateKadenMFKetoKStrenkowskichristy_bucklowbutterfly_punchitslylasam_raouf
    • 2,455
    • RETWEETS
    KadenMFKetoKStrenkowskiJANiEHiGHROLLERScottCharlesMDBBwolf55UmbranRoyaltyskeeter4321mananasseri
    BromanConsulpbear79ScreaminZemanCaptainObtuse
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house

    • 2,456
    • FAVS
    cllrhaywardjrobwilson75kadiebenAnywayAnywayAnymelissaward14BitOfBenPeter301164connected2space
    • 2,401
    • RETWEETS
    crispinwestkadiebenkayraydrrjhainesstepholiverxRobbie_CorbettgazwilliamsonJackieMooooon
    SpankMeIm0tymahatmatweetersanbayArroiaThisAlexSteinVikeeysSecretFredPollackseanx3_theigirlseagullski
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family

    • 2,164
    • FAVS
    chrismerrillbobw1okamiekaymeetpurvis06Jay_FrickinLynnWecallitSarcasmAlesithymiaDisNigsCrazy
    • 2,563
    • RETWEETS
    heffroatlargealienegoJay_FrickinLynnH_CosgroveDebraMuffinduplica123westheweaselLonely_Slice
    Johnny_RedonzoDJLIWIKZBrianSaetre_vacant___________bucmachine
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals

    • 2,649
    • FAVS
    romiza_tpurvis06Jay_FrickinLynnAlesithymiaOfficialMrSalamLukeWhitoDebraMuffinjackiem86503465
    • 1,983
    • RETWEETS
    prettypinkdotsJay_FrickinLynnOfficialMrSalamDebraMuffinjackiem86503465WarWithMyMindVenusRockHobbitGBRougecity
    painted_eelrollsyrollsyGreeneyedManiac1BigMickIrishVinIvsy01sameblacklist____brainscabskidphonicispypanda
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    What if Jamie Lee Curtis is still in Lindsay Lohan’s body and she’s the one ruining her reputation

    • 2,413
    • FAVS
    romiza_tpurvis06erinlaceywilsonNicoleroxxuJay_FrickinLynn1par8headWarWithMyMindVenusRockHobbit
    • 2,059
    • RETWEETS
    Aandrade24Jay_FrickinLynnWarWithMyMindVenusRockHobbitLorieGZRealShaughnN_u_n_y_ashannonjrox
    iamfaseShrinkMediajoeljeffreyCatLitterGirl____littlekitnerboyWhosTheresa
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I was so high I cried because I realized snakes are just tails with faces

    • 2,165
    • FAVS
    bananab123SeanR3dyakionodildointheroughromiza_tpurvis06vendetti42Jay_FrickinLynn
    • 1,266
    • RETWEETS
    dildointheroughJay_FrickinLynn_erick_214alex_lawless98iorishirosphanisonphireshinyremade2324uberhaxorno
    BrianhopecomedyHrBrybrakcoh3ll0d0llykarencreets______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who the fuck is not buying toilet paper?

    • 1,729
    • FAVS
    romiza_tpurvis06Jay_FrickinLynnsquirrel74wkgn1evilidiotSilverBadger1par8headVenusRockHobbit
    • 1,257
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnSilverBadgerVenusRockHobbitmarvinUGBGBogie01JayCee302________NinaRamadanJuicedballs
    mrjohntofu_wangweNoLuckWantedSuburbanComaBakeEmAwayToyzHallpassCanadaSteve_hamiltinSUPERJAYBAG______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing

    • 1,571
    • FAVS
    romiza_tpurvis06YogaButterfly_Jay_FrickinLynnOliviaScickScottMcGrath4ericalanbowerRabiyaZafar
    • 1,301
    • RETWEETS
    gabriellab_YogaButterfly_Jay_FrickinLynnScottMcGrath4tybosoileauJuliaCollettRudewarrior83willowbecker
    jfrank50ChipKellysBallsJosesLovesYouIlovelamp1979Scigglez__________SunnyGirl1717KingPatrick24SCBamaMantokencharlie______ashleycremMadameSnippy______urbusta
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Books are just dead tattooed trees and that's metal as fuck

    • 1,412
    • FAVS
    StupidSophia_janecautiousromiza_tpurvis06BlackTurnsBlueerinlaceywilsonNDizzzle24LaydeeLockett
    • 1,072
    • RETWEETS
    romiza_theotherannabeljblack8it97scorpiosophistisquidsLaydeeLockettAlongCameAnjathe_hedgehog177
    Sims_was_heresanbayJaySommerbreatheandlove
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    My internet addiction is getting alt of ctrl

    • 1,458
    • FAVS
    StupidSophia_romiza_tpurvis06Jay_FrickinLynnahoychoi1evilidiothey_brother1____Sims_was_here
    • 943
    • RETWEETS
    teamosupREEMoJay_FrickinLynnhey_brother1____Sims_was_hereVenusRockHobbitNURGLEAVEST5anarchicwolfLurkAtHomeMom
    Xalqeeella__fraser
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Beyonce made the song "single ladies" then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy

    • 1,053
    • FAVS
    RichBeingRichchrismerrillOutsideMetroNYeggcreamJohnnyMalcSuburbanComaAaronsOtherOneStupidSophia_
    • 1,294
    • RETWEETS
    RichBeingRichkimlaw662Aimangel85EmmaUttersalienegoteamosupREEMosophistisquidsClaireCarpentah
    leontymccarthy
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Can we talk about the word queue

    How many of those letters are really necessary

    I count one

    • 1,180
    • FAVS
    StupidSophia_romiza_tpurvis06anditsjigseancolerangregg_marcyJay_FrickinLynnbarryd2112
    • 1,019
    • RETWEETS
    eborg01gregg_marcyJay_FrickinLynnbarryd2112sonofdicksonInfoMissBlogReaKrystineBedelia924
    24HourBitchingClancynonosimprov
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast

    • 1,342
    • FAVS
    StupidSophia_romiza_tpurvis06chrismerrillannieweber33ThatDangIndiansapioatheistJay_FrickinLynn
    • 780
    • RETWEETS
    annieweber33Jay_FrickinLynnalistaircghermithamDebraMuffinGamaPehlwanVenusRockHobbitMrTallPaul1
    J_Dazzle76rossbransondetroit_etWonderMonkey78RapeyRaperton
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Dad: Why are you eyes so red, son?

    Son: I smoked weed, dad

    Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you are a faggot

    • 1,249
    • FAVS
    romiza_tpurvis06Beard_HorowitzJay_FrickinLynnOliviaScickAlesithymiagautamdharanBobinhiding
    • 826
    • RETWEETS
    Stun_OneEvilSmurf_NopeJay_FrickinLynnalistaircgemannyvgautamdharanDebraMuffinMURDERSHAZ
    spcycucumberAirGuitarHerosGarreTheFerretu_jellicentToneLoOnTheGonavesssaJosesLovesYouJizzIam__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Ain't no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets

    • 1,203
    • FAVS
    StupidSophia_tpurvis06Jay_FrickinLynnDebraMuffinVicFuturethisislizzAKackleyolievl
    • 646
    • RETWEETS
    prettypinkdotsJay_FrickinLynnDebraMuffinMariahAnnCarneyVicFutureAKackleyluckleprechaun1squirrel74wkgn
    Clancygarth0ff
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself

    • 1,112
    • FAVS
    StupidSophia_romiza_CameltoesmcgeeTeriBussartjuanmontoyaflickrfumessapioatheistJay_FrickinLynn
    • 731
    • RETWEETS
    QueefBurritoflickrfumessapioatheistSandyEggoMonkJay_FrickinLynnRizwanRizwan1klaashinkofCheetoe4
    holypurgatoryserialmatrixCuddleYourCatVoiceofgarthitmurrayDeanB15
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If a white woman goes to the Caribbean and doesn't get cornrows did the trip even happen?

    • 1,035
    • FAVS
    TheSnideOneRighttoddZora_d_1991StupidSophia_tpurvis06luvmyADHDSmoothDoug_liannaaa
    • 751
    • RETWEETS
    RighttoddPeter_Fox21alienegoZora_d_1991GOLDGODDESS_StupidSophia_Hmkhitarda_tootinator
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Calm your tit. Just one tit. Leave the other one crazy and out of control. That's your party tit

    • 1,067
    • FAVS
    willowbeckerKali_Murabrianbowman73kwirkyKerri44warriors_AlHumphriesskullpuppy11poshbirdgabi
    • 704
    • RETWEETS
    Peter_Fox21alienegopressy4piekwirkyKerridogsmycopilotskullpuppy11Quag_SwagChuckChinaski
    ibid78MandyUncleJesssicle____
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I hate how if a woman has sex with a bunch of guys she’s considered a slut, but if a guy does the exact same thing, he’s ‘gay’

    • 967
    • FAVS
    StupidSophia_romiza_Jay_FrickinLynnAlesithymiaWHEREISWALTJNR_whatever88DebraMuffin1evilidiot
    • 604
    • RETWEETS
    Stun_OneJay_FrickinLynnjollyfingersDebraMuffinVenusRockHobbitfading_roses19EricEaton1JoshuaNWise
    katy_baybay
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9.30pm

    • 976
    • FAVS
    StupidSophia_romiza_sapioatheistaugustuswallsJay_FrickinLynnMastersSub4tootallbcAnAverageGiant
    • 585
    • RETWEETS
    romiza_Jay_FrickinLynntootallbcgirlwithsomethoAnAverageGianthariharan_92DebraMuffinNerdsDigMe
    almostheavenly
@cervixsmash

@cervixsmash

http://favstar.fm/users/cervixsmash