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  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave

    • 3,072
    • FAVS
    igelmaedchenchristinalocabuoyantexplorerCokeManBK__g_nV_g_nEstioneBluerubenvasquez247clustercuss_
    • 2,719
    • RETWEETS
    iSunofaBeachBeagirlNJchristinalocavanyabananaTru2007NKhatatrubenvasquez247SunKiissd
    BromanConsulpbear79ScreaminZeman____CaptainObtuse
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house

    • 2,907
    • FAVS
    BurbidgeJameschristinalocagerryhatricmvalahu752MyPornKhanCokeManBjiffypops97SammyJB121
    • 2,762
    • RETWEETS
    iSunofaBeachAlmostSenselesswahootieMochaCocainaWavyNickMyPornKhanPrimalBlackjiffypops97
    GroperClevelandericonederfulSpankMeIm0tymahatmatweetersanbayArroiaThisAlexSteinVikeeysSecretFredPollackSeanX3_theigirlseagullski__
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals

    • 2,878
    • FAVS
    DrivelodeonchristinalocaejdaSaveItForFestADifGuykanyeskunkbabyWongLipJundingoden1
    • 2,141
    • RETWEETS
    christinalocaSaveItForFestShutUpThatsWhomaddawg_92FancyNancyAnnamphy1981WongLipJundaniel_shaw
    daniel_shawpainted_eelrollsyrollsyGreeneyedMofo1BigMickIrishVinIvsy01sameblacklist____brainscabskidphonicispypanda
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family

    • 2,321
    • FAVS
    daniel_shawNo_tact_herecaribelliKingSully20LakeyHitztylarfugate3SummerloveX0tyronem
    • 2,640
    • RETWEETS
    No_tact_herethecuznedbunnychanxCYBER__WOLFBigBameTheoryTySmithdrumssherrymparkerBeeJayCee02
    Johnny_RedonzoDJLIWIKZBrianSaetre_vacant___________bucmachine
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    What if Jamie Lee Curtis is still in Lindsay Lohan’s body and she’s the one ruining her reputation

    • 2,496
    • FAVS
    christinalocaShutUpThatsWhodaniel_shawArttyVCurtPiresj_cohlruraljulesPrefersSleep
    • 2,103
    • RETWEETS
    christinalocaj_cohldnmac27flatbillybarouonce_fabulousNo_tact_hereimfuckedanywaysrayyyych
    iamfaseShrinkMediajoeljeffreyCatLitterGirl____littlekitnerboyWhosTheresa
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I was so high I cried because I realized snakes are just tails with faces

    • 2,363
    • FAVS
    _TumzaNgwanadingoden1daniel_shawNo_tact_herepurch_stzeneggBillBourriermikralayla
    • 1,379
    • RETWEETS
    No_tact_hereAmytatu_VicFuturejpgseunShipInTheKnightharlaaylarryagrossOutOnTheMoors
    HALFniteStand__holypurgatoryBrianhopecomedyHrBrybrakcoh3ll0d0llykarencreets______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who the fuck is not buying toilet paper?

    • 1,848
    • FAVS
    daniel_shawNo_tact_hereTallIrishOneBoobzAndBrainzErinLindsayyCamoFireCrackerimfuckedanywaysFloydSmithee
    • 1,334
    • RETWEETS
    No_tact_hereAnittaBettypariwartanbasn1BoobzAndBrainzCamoFireCrackerimfuckedanywaysJulesC70NatalieMaMartin
    mrjohntofu_wangweNoLuckWantedSuburbanComaBakeEmAwayToyzHallpassCanadaSteve_hamiltinSUPERJAYBAG______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing

    • 1,692
    • FAVS
    THEPokerWifeNo_tact_hereimfuckedanywaysTlaxBoy05D_elliott2013lllvvvzzzmojosarmyJulesC70
    • 1,401
    • RETWEETS
    No_tact_herepariwartanbasn1imfuckedanywayschris_erdmanD_elliott2013TlaxBoy05JulesC70kjbjrj
    jfrank50ChipKellysBallsJosesLovesYouIlovelamp1979Scigglez__________SunnyGirl1717KingPatrick24SCBamaMantokencharlie______ashleycremMadameSnippy______urbusta
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Books are just dead tattooed trees and that's metal as fuck

    • 1,731
    • FAVS
    daniel_shawdocjommdidkdo3No_tact_hereMoojanggruraljulesMattRoberts29beefybooyawn
    • 1,294
    • RETWEETS
    EmilyMarteenShutUpThatsWhodingoden1hornsfan35No_tact_herePorbhubMattRoberts29beefybooyawn
    stacywawa1Sims_was_heresanbayJaySommerbreatheandlove
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Can we talk about the word queue

    How many of those letters are really necessary

    I count one

    • 1,412
    • FAVS
    SumbodyShootMeNikiDresdendaniel_shawTHEPokerWifeNo_tact_heregirlcantossironjule207_marnelizabeth
    • 1,151
    • RETWEETS
    NikiDresdenrandyswife0531No_tact_hereRobHicks20Rich_Newton_pariwartanbasn1imfuckedanywaysheatherlou_
    WhatevaConc24HourBitchingClancynonosimprov
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    My internet addiction is getting alt of ctrl

    • 1,504
    • FAVS
    No_tact_hereLjFrancoissimfuckedanywaysTlaxBoy05mojosarmyJulesC70AmandaBootesoutatownstrange
    • 968
    • RETWEETS
    No_tact_hereimfuckedanywaysTlaxBoy05JulesC70jumpdasharkAstroKidAronstacywawa1chilledharry211
    Xalqeeella__fraser
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Calm your tit. Just one tit. Leave the other one crazy and out of control. That's your party tit

    • 1,465
    • FAVS
    bees_wingzjilleb163hiimrenItsMrWoody2UTHEJaimeSantosBusterGrabbBuck852JamiTennille
    • 944
    • RETWEETS
    ShutUpThatsWhoMemories1960AnkitTripathi5archerenemyAKATripleAnna_the_Mollyswollenvoicejilleb163
    TheRealAnchovyibid78MandyUncle________Jesssicle
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Beyonce made the song "single ladies" then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy

    • 1,084
    • FAVS
    daniel_shawTHEPokerWifeNo_tact_hereimfuckedanywaysJulesC70Im_Ayeeshaalex_torres007jumpdashark
    • 1,313
    • RETWEETS
    daniel_shawhornsfan35No_tact_herepariwartanbasn1imfuckedanywaysJulesC70jumpdasharkFaTeemss
    leontymccarthy
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself

    • 1,345
    • FAVS
    yossarian2852954LeenOShutUpThatsWhoNo_tact_hereroseannebyrnetonyjdellMsRock4EverLonely_Slice
    • 943
    • RETWEETS
    954LeenOroseannebyrnetonyjdellMsRock4EvercandymethRichardTecoJrWaypoint5igorzmum
    GreyPath1AHoundNamedAlbanigelgodwinholypurgatoryserialmatrixCuddleYourCatVoiceofgarthitmurrayDeanB15
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast

    • 1,412
    • FAVS
    miss_calculatdKitchenAdamdariospeedwagonTHEPokerWifeNo_tact_hereFloydSmitheeJulesC70neledmax
    • 820
    • RETWEETS
    Butter_bumpsNo_tact_hereDeanDesign101JulesC70neledmaxBadaBingeAnnawtbIfUKnwWhtIMean
    J_Dazzle76rossbransondetroit_etWonderMonkey78RapeyRaperton
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Dad: Why are you eyes so red, son?

    Son: I smoked weed, dad

    Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you are a faggot

    • 1,286
    • FAVS
    daniel_shawNo_tact_herericci280holyjunkbucketsJulesC70jover_lointalex_torres007drugsandboners
    • 840
    • RETWEETS
    JulesC70jumpdasharkDanikaRaychelleNdeshi_Mrabbithole423JonEkerwaldRdrJay47highflyingmomma
    spcycucumberAirGuitarHeros__GarreTheFerretu_jellicentToneLoOnTheGonavesssaJosesLovesYouJizzIam__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Ain't no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets

    • 1,247
    • FAVS
    LordlyFaceShutUpThatsWhodingoden1daniel_shawTHEPokerWifeNo_tact_hereJulesC70enigmaticmess__
    • 663
    • RETWEETS
    No_tact_hereJulesC70thenickideestacywawa1rabbithole423SherBoBerjohnwardbrocatocoreymarie89
    Clancygarth0ff__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I hate how if a woman has sex with a bunch of guys she’s considered a slut, but if a guy does the exact same thing, he’s ‘gay’

    • 1,044
    • FAVS
    ShutUpThatsWhodaniel_shawTHEPokerWifeNo_tact_hereJulesC70lacharpentaCharaCarboneNick_Peterson
    • 652
    • RETWEETS
    No_tact_hereDeanDesign101JulesC70deceased2045jumpdasharkNdeshi_MFunSizeJemjlandmark
    katy_baybay
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9.30pm

    • 1,038
    • FAVS
    daniel_shawjumpdasharkNo_tact_hereNarcissusMaxmusRideTheLlamaHormonelladucksoup_UnFitz
    • 619
    • RETWEETS
    soMarianaxxSaucyCleverClogkcappphypochromiarichgreenjrCasz1eRantdogAmishPornStar1
    almostheavenly
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    People are far too concerned with the sexual orientation of people they aren’t having sex with

    • 771
    • FAVS
    ShutUpThatsWhodaniel_shawbklynmike3Ms_WindiDreamof_UNATxHANleafsgirl420squirrel74wkgn
    • 531
    • RETWEETS
    iDreamof_UBabygenius264VenusRockHobbit__leafsgirl416cellymcfaepyrategrrltammy8816bhushanjaisingh
    bornmiserableAnita_napMs_Laser
@cervixsmash

@cervixsmash

http://favstar.fm/users/cervixsmash