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  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave

    • 3,031
    • FAVS
    Sheri_DeCarlojover_lointMadDamMusicgimmeshuggahjumpdasharkchattelgirlNdeshi_Mstacywawa1
    • 2,687
    • RETWEETS
    MadDamMusicReggie02893gimmeshuggahTheRealAnchovyAislingSiobhannNdeshi_MGianDohGavlarrr123
    BromanConsulpbear79ScreaminZeman____CaptainObtuse
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house

    • 2,877
    • FAVS
    Dukeyla_KtdcrimsonkingNJ_McLeanLeetAmericoJoeyLemonsjover_lointOhratuuTehNemster
    • 2,754
    • RETWEETS
    NJ_McLeanJoeyLemonsgemlewis1994stickshifter78Misanthropic_23_joedayIrishfootball11Limeylizzie
    GroperClevelandericonederfulSpankMeIm0tymahatmatweetersanbayArroiaThisAlexSteinVikeeysSecretFredPollackseanx3_theigirlseagullski__
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals

    • 2,859
    • FAVS
    mooshkabean69jover_lointEstherCWarnockMadDamMusicKappa_KappaCreative_BurnsToo_Much_Luckwhathavewehear
    • 2,121
    • RETWEETS
    MidnightC1971Swat_KattyMadDamMusicHaleyAKnowlestbbucsbabesam_2P0whatitsmenejjumpdashark
    painted_eelrollsyrollsyGreeneyedMofo1BigMickIrishVinIvsy01sameblacklist____brainscabskidphonicispypanda
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family

    • 2,301
    • FAVS
    FloydSmitheeJulesC70roisinmcbrien_tbbucsbabeChuckyNookiejumpdasharkNdeshi_Mmichaelbenton27
    • 2,625
    • RETWEETS
    FloydSmitheeJulesC70Darrylm77jumpdasharkPauline06081815HypercraxyMykeVwmariebrod
    Johnny_RedonzoDJLIWIKZBrianSaetre_vacant___________bucmachine
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    What if Jamie Lee Curtis is still in Lindsay Lohan’s body and she’s the one ruining her reputation

    • 2,481
    • FAVS
    Topcat_007skullpuppy11TnucTewONECTGIRLBiffDangles1980JulesC70DanikaRaychelleNdeshi_M
    • 2,094
    • RETWEETS
    Topcat_007tbbucsbabeanncairns_annTnucTewjumpdasharkBiffDangles1980JulesC70Ndeshi_M
    iamfaseShrinkMediajoeljeffreyCatLitterGirl____littlekitnerboyWhosTheresa
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I was so high I cried because I realized snakes are just tails with faces

    • 2,341
    • FAVS
    JulesC70Kappa_KappatbbucsbabeAnth_Lewisskullpuppy11Wonder_GrayJn1ferArtyLuney
    • 1,367
    • RETWEETS
    JulesC70MooseHerBeaverskullpuppy11roosterteeficedcake_ImApRoUkNoTheRealAnchovyjumpdashark
    HALFniteStandholypurgatoryBrianhopecomedyHrBrybrakcoh3ll0d0llykarencreets______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who the fuck is not buying toilet paper?

    • 1,841
    • FAVS
    FloydSmitheeJulesC70jover_lointBlairLoudlySierraWhartonLisaMarie1124gegravesCharaCarbone
    • 1,328
    • RETWEETS
    JulesC70NatalieMaMartinLexi_GjReggie02893joespnutgegravesTheRealAnchovyjumpdashark
    mrjohntofu_wangweNoLuckWantedSuburbanComaBakeEmAwayToyzHallpassCanadaSteve_hamiltinSUPERJAYBAG______
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing

    • 1,686
    • FAVS
    mojosarmyJulesC70laladea28eTHEgoddessCatherineLMKmooshkabean69missamundanocturnallyme
    • 1,395
    • RETWEETS
    JulesC70kjbjrj69shadesoftaarl0serIRLnocturnallymereawineMr_Mugoclemwin
    jfrank50ChipKellysBallsJosesLovesYouIlovelamp1979Scigglez__________SunnyGirl1717KingPatrick24SCBamaMantokencharlie______ashleycremMadameSnippy______urbusta
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Books are just dead tattooed trees and that's metal as fuck

    • 1,724
    • FAVS
    KhrisWarholkimlechelernaultvilleHeyJennyLeonectrain_nlTheFlandjdowning26estrella_star
    • 1,282
    • RETWEETS
    LKiminingLiseLasalleAlviaHassanNoahsRocketrussulschelah_reezPhantasmagoriaxdevinecelt
    stacywawa1Sims_was_heresanbayJaySommerbreatheandlove
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Can we talk about the word queue

    How many of those letters are really necessary

    I count one

    • 1,397
    • FAVS
    mojosarmyJulesC70RichHarris2BridgetOwen77greciapapitas2thestreetzdeceased2045Hammy1757
    • 1,142
    • RETWEETS
    JulesC70favstar_history2thestreetztbbucsbabeOfficeLinebckerskullpuppy11triplesixbitchbriannnala
    WhatevaConc24HourBitchingClancynonosimprov
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    My internet addiction is getting alt of ctrl

    • 1,500
    • FAVS
    mojosarmyJulesC70AmandaBootesoutatownstrangealex_torres007jumpdasharkNdeshi_Mspewed_icing
    • 965
    • RETWEETS
    JulesC70jumpdasharkAstroKidAronstacywawa1chilledharry211rabbithole423Mind_fukkthenickidee
    Xalqeeella__fraser
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Beyonce made the song "single ladies" then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy

    • 1,080
    • FAVS
    JulesC70Im_Ayeeshaalex_torres007jumpdasharkTr8ner69haolegurl808Ndeshi_Mstacywawa1
    • 1,308
    • RETWEETS
    JulesC70jumpdasharkFaTeemssJandeTersoofloffyk16Preety_flvckoMeezy_Tha_BoSSmiss_mustapha11
    leontymccarthy
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself

    • 1,325
    • FAVS
    JulesC70jover_lointEveliieen_MadDamMusicJuJuCumCumkrispythehumancolinjoseph72TheRealAnchovy
    • 933
    • RETWEETS
    JulesC70sync_8HShade71Sarahsmellakrispythehumancolinjoseph72IfUKnwWhtIMeanTheRealAnchovy
    GreyPath1AHoundNamedAlbanigelgodwinholypurgatoryserialmatrixCuddleYourCatVoiceofgarthitmurrayDeanB15
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast

    • 1,407
    • FAVS
    FloydSmitheeJulesC70neledmaxjover_lointOfficeLinebckerdocjommdBadaBingealex_torres007
    • 818
    • RETWEETS
    DeanDesign101JulesC70neledmaxBadaBingeAnnawtbIfUKnwWhtIMeanVER0NICAMAYTheRealAnchovy
    J_Dazzle76rossbransondetroit_etWonderMonkey78RapeyRaperton
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I saw a guy protesting winter pic.twitter.com/KhlMbSOpGP

    • 1,333
    • FAVS
    thatspicegirlK_to_the_PomphJulesC70AskAuntieEm1OKOHFLOWconifer0usBlairrRobinsondakotaaaa28
    • 805
    • RETWEETS
    thatspicegirlJulesC70WillisTotzkeannnnnnnerb13Christen_ThomasLiterotica_comrachelveerkampCartright_
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Dad: Why are you eyes so red, son?

    Son: I smoked weed, dad

    Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you are a faggot

    • 1,284
    • FAVS
    ricci280holyjunkbucketsJulesC70jover_lointalex_torres007drugsandbonerslgbk44jumpdashark
    • 840
    • RETWEETS
    JulesC70jumpdasharkDanikaRaychelleNdeshi_Mrabbithole423JonEkerwaldRdrJay47highflyingmomma
    spcycucumberAirGuitarHeros__GarreTheFerretu_jellicentToneLoOnTheGonavesssaJosesLovesYouJizzIam__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Calm your tit. Just one tit. Leave the other one crazy and out of control. That's your party tit

    • 1,167
    • FAVS
    enigmaticmessamanda_hockingDallianceDemurejumpdasharkNdeshi_Mstacywawa1MsMeganJrabbithole423
    • 770
    • RETWEETS
    Half_Quixoticrabbithole423poppy_daydreamsSherBoBeremma_boneImNotLaRouxSpicey_Rosewelustpapes
    TheRealAnchovyibid78MandyUncle________Jesssicle
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    Ain't no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets

    • 1,241
    • FAVS
    JulesC70enigmaticmessNdeshi_Mkrishna_vanmrbiggforealkapow_7TheRealRHBwestcoastphinz
    • 662
    • RETWEETS
    JulesC70thenickideestacywawa1rabbithole423SherBoBerjohnwardbrocatocoreymarie89kv8
    Clancygarth0ff__________
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    If a white woman goes to the Caribbean and doesn't get cornrows did the trip even happen?

    • 1,085
    • FAVS
    JulesC70Fyrekrakr73_leinyyjon_aley2thestreetzToastburglarjidu1980jumpdashark
    • 765
    • RETWEETS
    JulesC70machojeff79Fyrekrakr73AdrianaVebel_leinyylordvebaz2thestreetz_H_I_O_P_
  • cervixsmash
      UHH @cervixsmash

    I hate how if a woman has sex with a bunch of guys she’s considered a slut, but if a guy does the exact same thing, he’s ‘gay’

    • 1,040
    • FAVS
    JulesC70lacharpentaCharaCarboneNick_Petersonalex_torres007jumpdasharkNdeshi_Mstacywawa1
    • 651
    • RETWEETS
    DeanDesign101JulesC70deceased2045jumpdasharkNdeshi_MatheistjemjlandmarkSCGreyBeard
    katy_baybay
@cervixsmash

@cervixsmash

http://favstar.fm/users/cervixsmash