19 year old girls are the best at Buddhism.

Just watched 45 YouTube videos of cats instantly falling back asleep when their Military owners returned from war.

Well, America's spoken and I think The Avengers are our president now?

Woody Allen & Lindsay Lohan had dinner together in Manhattan yesterday. Good to see Woody Allen finally dating somebody who looks his age.

The constitution forgot to let women vote and considered African Americans to be 3/5ths of a person. We're allowed to make changes to it.

Somebody should really tell girls about brunch. It seems like the sorta thing they'd be into.

Congratulations to John Derbyshire for becoming the first person ever to be too racist for the National Review.

Anybody have Mark Zuckerberg's mailing address? I'm gonna start sending him a letter telling him about each song I listen to on Spotify.

Every time I walk past a fruit vendor I can't help but feel like that asshole is daring me to juggle.

Still can't believe that the entire cast and crew of The Artist are real Navy Seals.

I just searched google.com three times on Yahoo, so look out for it on their trending searches tomorrow.

If I could tell Frankie Muniz one thing, it'd be that when you turn 25, your name becomes Frank Muniz.

Push this Petraeus story all you like media, but I'll be an astronaut love triangle guy till I die.

James Franco did an amazing job producing the new Radiohead album.

Move aside gun control debate, Instagram's got new terms of service.

I'm so close to being able to marry a dolphin that I can taste it.

"You deserve two rocks." -- The Rock proposing.

Surprised I need to clarify this, but generally speaking, you shouldn't kick a man when he's up, either.

What's proper threeway etiquette? Fedora on or off?

Just saw the picture of Daniel Day Lewis as Lincoln, and I think he's gonna play the role even better than the guy from Bill & Ted's.