Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Hey, hot-girl-who-says-she-was-awkward-in-highschool, shut up.
It might not be the best ride, but theres no line
If midnight snacking is frowned upon, why does the fridge have a light?
How the hell is there a plot line to soooo many movies based off of sharks killing people? Get the fuck out of the water!!!!
My dog took a dump during Mad Max, and he pissed during Braveheart. He must REALLY not like Mel Gibson.
Why are pillows still filled with feathers? Its like putting your head on a sack of dead bird hair!!!
On the plus side, now I have something to text my girl next time she wants to talk dirty. Wow, I am up front on the internet.
Politicians are dumb and inefficient. Why don't we elect a bunch of gay guys to run the country? They'd get shit DONE.
I wish we had a documentary crew following us around, so I could do something like that.
"Hey Baltimore and SF, I'mma let you finish, but Beyonce had the best performance of all time"--Kanye, as he plugs the power back in
"I have nothing against strip clubs, but I do at 10:00 a.m, on a monday. The day shift at a strip club? You can't unsee that..."-The Office
I just realized feathers are bird hair
And that's why they call them business socks
That awkward moment when you meet someone for the millionth time but can't remember their name
How does Cookie Monster not have diabetes?
#improvefilmtitlesbyaddinginmypants White Chicks In My Pants
Why does my phone make me tweet the people that are "similar to" my account?
I'm like a chameleon, except I only blend in with printer paper.
I had this twitter. And a boner-pill peddler hacked it. Then I made lunch. So now I write late night musings on it. Flog Gnaw. Now, that's what I call gangsta.