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Your life flashes before your eyes right before you die. It takes an average of 70-80 years.
Novel Material May Extract Uranium From Seawater http://on.mash.to/11J8n7k @techreview
#incomingfreshmanadvice when a senior guy wants to hangout in the middle of the night it's because he really likes your personality 👌
Recent Twitter followings gotta give @cloydrivers the nod at #1 and @robdelaney the Razzie. Just incredibly underwhelming
Now her eyes can instantly fact-check her mouth! pic.twitter.com/n5NchBnGHw
If you like to chuckle it & want to learn what a "corn peanus" is, please countenance this ribald jazz. @robdelaney
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0c3b28728b/rob-delaney-s-new-boardgame …
"I love you."
"I love Batman."
"Gee, thanks buddy."
"Daddy, can I have a cookie?"
"WHY DON'T YOU ASK YOUR BEST FRIEND BATMAN."
The United States is one of the most violent cultures in human history, 40,000 Americans are murdered each year.
Don't let losing a loved one be the reason you finally realize each day, no matter how rough, is a gift.
Smile more. Love more. Live more.
Oh, cool, the couple both wearing Lisa Loeb glasses on their first date sitting next to me are talking about how much they love Portlandia.
I'm at the Robin Williams body hair stage of my life. Get at me girls
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full". That's just 3 random words. I'm going to try now.
Nipple squirrel ham
We just received a DM that just said "Wanna fuck?" and then a link. We cannot fuck anybody. We are a coffee shop.
So CNN..How about a cartoon where Anderson Cooper gets lost in a forest and attacked by one hundred wolves that all look like Wolf Blitzer.
I had this twitter. And a boner-pill peddler hacked it. Then I made lunch. So now I write late night musings on it. Flog Gnaw. Now, that's what I call gangsta.
