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In order of degree of difficulty to replicate using LEGO pieces:
1. Kids in a Sandbox
2. Lemon Party
3. Blue Waffle
My biggest fear...Auroerotic asphyxiation mishap where my only hope of survival is tweeting it and hoping a follower lives nearby.
Things I Fist:
3. Cans of Gravy
5. Bee Hives
At what point do you go from "How many teeth are you missing?" to "How many teeth do you have?"
Cynthia Nixon is the ugliest Dr. Seuss character ever.
Is it gay if you draw a mouth on your hand when you masturbate,..a mouth with a mustache?
If God wasn't cool with anal, he would have made triangular cocks and rectangular buttholes.
Wheres the Family Circus where Jeffy goes wandering all over the goddamn place trying 2 get the mail, only 2 be abducted by John Wayne Gacy.
Show me your Twits. #TwitterBumperStickers
Me: (awkward crying)
Pirates hijacked another ship,..a relationship. Don't trust a pirate to ever call you back after you let him "plunder you booty."
Sometime I go to McDonalds and sit on the plastic Ronald McDonalds face and hope he does a better job.
Why the hell do they have the WNBA playing in bars? It's hard enough for me to hide my boner when I watch UFC.
What do you mean you won't buy it? This is a collectors item! This thing was in Eleanor Roosevelt's snatch!
The 5 worst baby names:
2. Baby Gaga
4. Delta Burke
5. Rape Aftermath
I'm the white Taye Diggs.
Note to self:
Ladies don't appreciate you calling them "Tom Sawyer" during intercourse.
How is it Lady Gaga is allowed to get naked in all of her videos, yet I'm not allowed to test the ripeness of a cantaloupe with my phallus?
Ok I've decided.
I would marry Rose, boff Blanche, and kill Dorothy.
Mel Gibson is no longer America's Aussie & with Heath being dead that leaves only two obvious candidates...Hugh Jackman or Yahoo Serious!
Heroes include Chris Farley, John Belushi, the fat kid from The Sandlot, The Grimace, and Gabby Giffords.