"World peace? Weren't there slaves at the beginning of the show?"

Manny hit the ground and I heard a grown man scream louder and higher than any teenage girl at a One Direction concert.

So Eric Decker is getting a reality show? I will probably watch it. with the sound and my pants off.

My advice to 49ers fans is DO NOT call the Super Bowl the "Ray Lewis retirement party". It has backfired on 100% of the fan bases.

It's like I've always said pic.twitter.com/rZYZbmXr

Your spelling is ridicules. RT @tonygonzalez88 I've been saying give the refs a break but that TD call was ridicules.

"I've wanted USA to win every gold medal...except in basketball. Those assholes need to be knocked down a few pegs" - I love you mom.

Jamie Moyer shouldn't have to explain himself. He pitched well. Two errors and only one run by us while he was in. Terrible. #Rockies

NFL is confusing. Tebow gets ridiculed for being a good person but people praise the greatness of Roethlisberger & rush to acquire Marshall.

When Kobe reacts after a big shot, hr is 'passionate'; when JR reacts, he is 'immature'. That's totally fair.

#FF @msroxrock @sarav19 @leftypower031 @tay0130 @johnreidydenver @memphischad @gorox1983 @ds @rmac15 @lschwimmer @djrando7 @dieri @thomyi

I don't pick my favorite athletes, my vagina does.

Someone needs to get married so I can to a wedding and have an excuse to wear this dress again 💕  http://instagram.com/p/Y0gM7iHA4h/ 

Apparently not appropriate to tell my cousin "say no to hard drugs"

Getting new twitter followers is as simple as admitting you masturbate to Eric Decker.

Serious flaw for the people in charge of seating for not putting the Lincoln cast in the balcony.

I have a Beyoner.

Ray Lewis is such a fucking DOUCHE.

Sorry, I can not and will not jump on the 'Ive lost all faith in humanity' train.

I will tell you what, Instagram stalking is a much riskier business than Facebook stalking. Beware of the accidental double tap.