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a whole article on dog names! ruby's pre-adoption name was teeny. it was changed on the ride home. http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/regionals/north/2013/12/01/most-popular-dog-names-north-boston/t8sUDtbEqAQTvRO7Ob3mQP/story.html …
"gee, i hope it's not in the turkey," my mom says after declaring she can't find the kitchen sponge
"CAREFUL! you're stepping on our silk milk coupons." — a thing i just said to my dog, in my bed (saturday night)
my mother called NBC last night to complain because the redskins game was airing during the voice's time slot.
costco is #5 on urban spoon's best restaurants in springfield.
i hide things in target until i can decide if i need them. related: magenta clearance planner behind pantene hairspray at burke target.
i once bought calling cards to talk to my friends in england and now i snapchat them photos of my dog eating froyo without spending a dime
remember when i went to south america three years in a row and didn't take malaria meds? the newsroom is about to confirm ALL my fears.
the springfield sky is looking particularly tornadoey and i'm not feeling great about it.
well my student loan exit counseling just taught me that my best repayment options are 1. 25 years of public service or 2. death
my grandma is picking glamour shots to send to church for the grad bulletin. wants to know where she can get a copy of my press pass photo.
fact: i bawled my eyes out when the laguna beach cast graduated high school. fact: i did not cry when i graduated college.
i send myself more emails than everyone combined.
why isn't there an app that lets you take a picture of your mole, upload it and find out if it's cancerous?
me, to the kitchen: "11:11 MAKE A WISH." cole: "i wish you'd shut the fuck up."
mom: "i need you to put some songs on my phone when you get home. like 'save a horse ride a cowboy.' it's for when i run."
I refresh Twitter as thoughtlessly as some twirl their hair. firstname.lastname@example.org