melbourne weather forecast: freezing with a chance of summer.

your mamas so fat the sorting hat put her in all four houses. #JKLoling

"I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge."

Bury your past. Grow a future.

Oh, queen sized bed. How lonely you make me feel. Why did I buy this thing?

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY!

'Half Past Dead' is possibly the worst title for a movie I have ever heard.

ash ketchum's dad. #unresolvedchildhood

Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.

whoa it's 5am. why does this keep happening!

"I'm not like most girls." - Most girls.

"i call noodles long-ass rice."

sometimes i just want to sleep until it's over.

A unicorn without testicles is called a “eunuchorn.”

it ain't easy being white, it ain't easy being brrrawwuuuwwnn!! #arresteddevelopment

if you turn your toaster sideways, you can put cheese on the bread and make grilled cheese on toast. #mindblown

"It's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again."

inyourendo.

@whoismicah you showed up on my suggested followers list,and i realised i met you in a bathroom once.i hope life has been good since then :)

BREAKING NEWS!! RT @kimkardashian: Ate a salad&an olive was in it.I liked it.Hope my taste isn't changing,I don't wanna like olives