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'Half Past Dead' is possibly the worst title for a movie I have ever heard.
have to say, the only positivity i dislike on facebook is when people tell me how perfect and amazing their partner is.
Don't leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
You're not stuck in traffic; you are traffic.
"So if I'm a liar and you're a thief, at least we both know where the other one sleeps."
somewhere between aspiring to be successful in life and happy living, i am right smack in the middle of not knowing what the f*** to do.
Bury your past. Grow a future.
lady wrote on facebook, "i want desert." well, she can have it, but she's going to have to drive pretty far to find one.
rick santorum is the greatest comedian i know!
what do you call an aligator in a vest? an investigator.
man, george clooney is cool. when i grow up, i want to be george clooney.
ash ketchum's dad. #unresolvedchildhood
"I know Karate, I Know Jujitsu, I Drive Like a Gangsta when I'm coming to see you."
living on my own really taught me how to cook, but more importantly, how to use fire extinguishers.
Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.
couldn't say it better myself, "enjoy that devil music at soundwave you godless sodomites." hope you mosh hard and sing harder!
has anyone heard 'stupid hoe' by nicki minaj? how can a song be THAT bad? what is it? like, i don't even... i have no words.
and my personal favourite, my big fat greek vagina #ReplaceFilmTitlesWithVagina