@christian95's (Christian Thompson) recent favourites

@christian95

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Friends: 446

Followers: 327

Favs Given: 1,987

Favs Rec'd: 94

@christian95's (Christian Thompson) recent favourites. See who @christian95 favs the most...

I ain't sayin' she a gold digger either, but she just forged your name and emptied your bank account, Sir.

@Punkrockie

15 VIEW
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WHATS UP!! WHATS UP!!!

All the bulimic bitches in the house say "BLAAARRGGGH!!!"

@sucittaM

23 VIEW
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"Cop" is not an acceptable synonym for "police officer." Use instead "The Man."

@FakeAPStylebook

7 VIEW
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Things I hate: slimy old politicos who call me "young lady." I've got a house, kid, PhD and political experience. I'm grown.

@harrislacewell

I quit drinking to save calories, but all I lost was the will to live.

@BettyLies

185

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That's an interesting scent you're wearing. What is it, queso?

@sarkastickunt

19 VIEW
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Happy St. KEEP IT DOWN ASSHOLE.

@angleofattack

4 VIEW
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Sometimes when I throw up I like to pretend the toilet is a baby bird and you're not even reading this anymore are you.

@baileygenine

229

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I think everyone should just forward all their medical bills to John Boehners Senate office.

@GPappalardo

5 VIEW
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I didn't wear green or drink a pint of Guinness, but I DID throw a handful of piping hot corned beef at a Protestant. So, we're good, right?

@Jessabelle2o7

13 VIEW
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I want to get a job at Chili's so I can say "WHO ORDERED THE MOTHER FUCKING FAJITAS?!"

@conanobrienswyf

20 VIEW
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"If God had a plan for her, why did she end up in jail?"
"No one said it was a good plan."

@abigvictory

58 VIEW
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Ruth has just changed her body shape from "Athletic" to "Out of.

@ruthakers

13 VIEW
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Sorry...I know you classy bitches frown on the word "cunt." Just...I dunno, pretend I'm British or something.

@JezebelTheGreat

31 VIEW
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That is NOT a pot of gold.

Mother Nature, you cunt.

@JezebelTheGreat

12 VIEW
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I always drink to forget, but never forget to drink.

@thedayhascome

24 VIEW
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Does anyone know how much it would cost to tweet my friend in Venezuela? I want to tell him how close I am to getting my GED.

@Punkrockie

31 VIEW
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I don't insult. I merely compliment your flaws. Stop being ungrateful, you efficient fat collector, you.

@jane_bot

21 VIEW
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Think they'll color the coffee green at the AA meetings tonight???

@beersuds

20 VIEW
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WARNING: A night of binge drinking, consuming corned beef and cabbage then having sex, will lead to nothing but a shitty shitty bang bang.

@bitterpuss

52 VIEW
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