@jannarden I want pads that say "congratulations, you got lucky again this month!" or maybe vibrating tampons...

Don't say you are embarrassed to be Canadian just because some total idiots caused a #riot. Its not a 'Canadian' thing, its an idiot thing!

No Brendan, America likes drama and wanted to see you back in the house to stir the drama pot! #cbsbigbrother

Lost my phone. Called it to find it. It was in my boobs! #Fail

I'm gonna throw something dead in the oven for supper. That should kill it even more.

OMG - Unthinkable! - Call Amazon to demand they remove it: 1-800-201-7575. "Amazon Sells Guide To Pedophilia" http://t.co/WrXyQI8

Well, might as well get up off my ass and do something. Probably fold laundry. F*ck I lead a Rockstar life.

The house won't clean it's self....damn lazy house.

I need to go somewhere like a womans conference...or anywhere husbands and children are not...for like a whole day...and I want wine!

Wouldn't it be nice if the people in ones real life were as awesome as the people in ones twitter stream?

Sometimes singing at the top of your lungs, with the windows wide open, is good for your soul.

New new twitter still needs - RT with comment & mass delete option for DM's! @twitter #NewTwitter

Some people are impossible to please.

I should be getting ready. Instead I'm drinking coffee and reading you lot.

99% of my friends don't know about politics or vote...ever. I think that is really sad. #cdnpoli

I like this! @theleakyboob http://theleakyboob.com/2010/11/if-these-boobs-could-talk-more-than-fun-bags/

Hello chair, meet my ass. The two of you are going to be good friends.

"I cry because others are stupid and that makes me sad" ~Sheldon. Me too buddy, me too. #BigBangTheory

Canada - Where you get a longer sentence for possessing pot than you do for sexually molesting children. Disgusting!!! #cdnpoli #GrahamJames

After today's very sparkly after school craft, ppl will still be finding flecks of glitter 500yrs from now asking "where is it coming from?"