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When you've been married as long as I have you understand why Ken and Barbie are sold separately.
"I don't want to cheat but I'd like to have sex again"
~The Paradox of Marriage
I'm sure that one way or another, we've all been a story for a cab driver.
Being angry at the world gains you nothing.
Showing kindness, empathy and compassion to the world gains you everything.
It funny how those that have been slammed by life more than others think of each day as a gift.
Maybe we should pay attention.
When did we start replacing "etc.", "and such", "and what not" with "and shit?"
See, I have lots of useless questions and shit.
I'm not saying the guy at Chipotle enjoys the chronic but he rolled my burrito so tight it's now a taquito.
Older men chasing younger women is like dogs chasing cars: both wouldn't know what to do if they caught it and look damn silly doing it.
The fastest way to get someone to talk to me is to put on my headphones and concentrate on my work.
Playboy may be the girl next door but the @suicidegirls are the girls I'd rather live next door to. RT if you agree!
These scars are not to be hidden, they are to be celebrated.
They tell the story of a life lived.
Over the last couple weeks, I've had several reminders that there are real people with real lives behind the jokes.
Be good to each other.
Ladies! The language you sometimes use on Twitter...what do I owe you per minute?
I call bullshit! Target is selling replica concert t-shirts of 1980's concerts I had to attend to get the t-shirt the first time.
I'm not nearly as funny as I think I am but people keep encouraging me for some unknown reason. http://favstar.fm/users/cityrider49/recent