I wanted to knife a bitch today, but my instructor advised against it...

If someone tried to pay me with Trident Layers, I would punch them in the throat..steal their wallet and blow a bubble in their face!

Instructors that assign group projects should have their nuts run up a flag pole..just sayin...

I want to drop kick u in ur baby maker!

If I pass these two tests tomorrow it's going to be a miracle!

Don't worry, I am sure they hated meeting you just as much as you hated meeting them...

He's not flirting with you...you're just a dumbass

Someone needs to invent a time machine..I need to go back and correct some shit that went way wrong in my life!!

Don't worry... Your family can't handle all that family time with you either!!

I need a new microwave-I don't think it's suppose to take 7 minutes to heat up a fucking Lean Cuisine!

Yea..I'm fucking your dad..deal with it

Whipped & creamy??

Why is this bitch calling me so fuckin early??

Since when did you start depending on others to make your decisions? I see he cut off your balls?? Time to grow a new pair!

All that apple did was piss me off and make me even more hungry!!

Currently making a study guide...someone, anyone shoot me now!!

Saw a commercial bout feathers for ur hair...we had those back in the day...had roach clips attached so we could look stylish smokin r weed

Back in the day, the word "swag" was a type of curtain for a window...so basically y'all be gettin your curtain on..dumbasses!

What can I do to get them to follow me? Meat on a string? Coke on a rope?

i deleted my FB acct..too much drama from ppl i dont give 2 shits about..blah, blah...STFU!