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RIP Megaupload. Let us have 72 minutes of silence, followed by a 30 minute waiting period before we can continue our mourning </3
if any of you join a "surviving the earthquake" related facebook group i will personally come to your house and stab you in the head
Yay! Abortions and gay sex for everyone!!
If I die and people post statuses about me on Facebook acting like they knew me or were nice to me, I will come back and fucking murder them
the movie Taken is literally just Finding Nemo with fewer hilarious underwater shenanigans
What if dogs are rapping but we just can't understand
People who drink decaffeinated coffee: what is your life about? Are you the same weirdos who buy alcohol-free wine?
Kim Jong Il is dead... guess that's the end of his Korea
Next time you see a SkinnyMe Tea transformation photo, just picture all those hot, skinny bitches explosively shitting all morning
SELLING PYRAMID ROCK 3 DAY CAMPING PASS FOR $200 (100 less than retail price) MOVING OVERSEAS NEED TO SELL ASAP! PLEASE RETWEET
the world is ending in two days and we still don't know who let the dogs out
I'll never understand why people "can't" swallow tablets. How do you ingest your food, through your nose? IT'S THE SAME
i wonder if cyclone yasi will be as fun and exciting as Yahtzee - the ultimate dice game of all time