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Can't wait until everyone at Glastonbury runs out of battery.
Shit, I just accidentally attempted to convert Twitter into a .pdf document. My computer is going into meltdown.
Isn’t it funny how some drugs are sold according to the metric system (a gram of cocaine), but others stick to imperial (an ounce of weed)?
Earlier we had a surprise audit, I opened up my Personal Development Folder to find a moldy sausage roll. It was a pretty awkward moment.
Since when was Michael Portillo catching a train the legitimate basis for a television series?
So far, I have earned 3 nectar points and untold shame.
Why does everyone over a certain age insist on using Multimap, rather than Google Maps?
Need to watch a two hour Masterchef marathon tonight, if I don't watch the final live the internet will find a way to reveal the winner.
There’s a feeling of revolution in the air, but we might all just go to the staff canteen instead. They do Starbucks coffee there.