Mr. Durst you stand accused of stealing this collection of Dennis Quaid DVDs and screaming 'idid it all for the rookie' is not a defense

RT @seinfeldtoday Jerry iPad pinterest Obama. Elaine and George facebook hipster Phoebe(Kat Dennings). Kramer graphic novel, honey boo boo.

76ers are intro'd with Led Zeppelin, Celtics get Coheed and Cambria. Advantage: 76ers

@crashburnalley http://t.co/nGFjasBi

After correctly guessing a customers slice preference I told him I had a 'pizza shining' to which he responded 'quiet you wanna get sued?!'

A night at The Republican, a day in the shower.

Saw a Vespa crash into a Toyota Prius today. There was blood everywhere. The cacophony of broken bones and screams haunts me. I cannot sleep

@pizza__mom Ruben Baratheon Jr: born of incest, awarded his throne through nepotism/succession, petulant sadist, makes me personally unhappy

please enjoy the waning days of the 99 cent arizona iced tea can, you'll tell your grandkids about them some day.

Despite all my rage I am still just a fan of nic cage

still waiting for someone to ask Mitt Romney who his favorite Wire character is.

I have a modified acronym for coping with heartbreak: DABDEA (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Eternal Sunshine, Acceptance)

Justin Come On Pilgrimm, Jorge de la Surfer Rosa, Ivan Bossanova, Sean Doolittle, Raul Trompe le Mondesi. All right I can kill myself now!

'read my lips. (inaudible)'

Twitter http://t.co/76SGuumP

What's the deal with pic.twitter.com/u9JzmPWfn4

What players deserve consideration for this years all star game, my column: pic.twitter.com/OAEzfo1LSf

are your thoughts and/or prayers with the victims of things? log on to  http://twitter.com  and let the world know that you are a human.

I took a delivery to the apartment across from El Bar. Told the guy 'if I lived here I'd be an alcoholic.' He replied 'I am an alcoholic'

To the girl with the MR F tattoo on her wrist: I like things you like.