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Just keyed '2 + 2 = 5' on the hood of a Smart Car. Take that, irony.
James Foley died with more pride and bravery in his eyes than I could EVER hope to equate in an entire lifetime. Godspeed, sir.
Some people just need a high-five.
In the face.
With a chair.
Critic after The Dark Knight Rises screening: “If this does not break the mold and win Best Picture, no comic book movie ever will.” #TDKR
I'll put a comma any,where I goddamn please.
If I were server at a restaurant on Valentine's, I'd put a fake engagement ring in every chick's drink.
If I may have a brief moment of your time: I will always be an Aquarius. Pluto will always be a planet. And OJ did it. Carry on.
Best part about Walmart? Always having the book aisles to myself.
Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a hooker for a hug.
Once you're broken, you learn to bend.
Remember, you can't spell "subtext" without "buttsex".
Beauty is only balls deep.
To this day- When Forrest Gump finds out he has a son & asks if he's "smart".. I want to sob. That internal, raw self-knowledge in his eyes.
Some days, you should just leave the canvas blank.
Remember folks, one man's 'WTF' is another man's 'FTW'.
Fun Fact: Your cat doesn't believe in God.
America: Where being obese is genetics but being gay is a choice.
Godless. Tattooed. Unenthusiast. Never Broken a Heart, But I've Been Known to Bruise a Cervix. ⅯK♥
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