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How can it be Ann Coulter's 'birthday'? I thought she was created when a train full of hepatitis crashed into a sewage plant?
reminder that for some reason the NFL is a “non-profit organization” (LOOOLLL) and doesn’t pay taxes, and also is exempt from antitrust laws
Palin says owing money to China is 'slavery.' Santorum says Obamacare is like 'apartheid.' And THEY get upset if we say 'Happy Holidays.'
The garbage man on my street is singing Extreme's "More Than Words."
Hate it when I have to listen to them having sex in the apt. next door when I’m in my coat closet with my ear pressed against the wall.
PREVIEW: Ted Cruz's alternative plan specifies that those who want health insurance should marry a banker with a good plan like he did.
Considering getting knocked up just so my mom has something to talk about on Thanksgiving other than my brother’s cooking.
Hey, wear your dirty, nasty pajamas to Walmart, but if you don't pick up your feet, I hope you trip over your flip-flops & choke on them.
It's weird how it's always my turn at a 4-way stop, even though other cars may have been there longer.
It really annoys me when I see a man order food for a woman when she is right next to him. Is it a control thing? She can speak for herself.
Hi, won't be on twitter for a while as I'll be at my meeting for people who can't believe NCIS is still on TV
Drove through a golf community & got involved in a pretty intense apologizing match at a 4 way stop.
Apparently I am a stunt double for the Geico cavemen. It is an honor. Can't wait to start shooting commercials with those guys, they are awesome.