R.E.M. breaks up, and Facebook changes layouts again. It's a rough day for white people.

The number 969 looks like a threesome with one person getting totally left out.

YOU GET A LOB YOU GET A LOB

@dame_lillard I don’t feel bad for the parents, I feel bad for the child that isn’t wanted. It deserves better.

This girl's roughly 16, sunburnt and pregnant. I'm guessing 'protection' doesn't feature highly in her vocabulary.

I'm not taking Standard and Poor's seriously until they downgrade Ke$ha to Ke¢ha

Hey Madonna, no wardrobe malfunctions tonight. Keep your boobs in your pants.

My phone autocorrected killed to kilt. Well plaid, phone. Well plaid.

My liver just reached into my wallet and tore up my organ donor card.

Just spilled vodka, the puddle looks exactly like the Virgin Mary. I'd wait for news crews to come,but it was the last I had. Slurping it up

RT if you hate the Washington Huskies.

@collegegameday I would give it to Oregon State. Beat a team that shut them out last season, and showed a lot of improvement.

I have a feeling Donald Trump is going to want to see Osama Bin Laden's death certificate.

If I had a dollar for every time my parents questioned my sexuality I could buy so many more designer handbags.

Stage collapses at the Indiana State fair moments before Sugarland concert supposed to start. At least three killed, dozens injured.

Age is just a number.


That let's everyone know how gross you're getting.

Your Dad was on OJ's defense team. RT @kimkardashian WHAT!!!!???!!!! CASEY ANTHONY FOUND NOT GUILTY!!!! I am speechless!!!

Amanda Knox spent four years in an Italian prision. Seems like an eternity, until you realize she got unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks

@realcj10 besides John Rocker, right?

People at work don't believe I've met at least 200 of you. As an experiment, if we have MET in real life...PLEASE RT this. #socialexperiment