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Grammar lesson: YOU'RE a fucking moron who should have gotten YOUR high school diploma.
The average person burns 150-200 calories during sex. With me, you're guaranteed 500 more because of the walk home.
Someone who hates you normally hates you for 1 of 3 reasons. They either see you as a threat. They hate themselves. Or they want to be you.
The average person burns 150-200 calories during sex. With me, you're guaranteed 500 more because of the walk home.
A moment of silence for all the girls out there taking a load to the face in hopes it will turn into a relationship.
I think Marilyn Monroe would be pissed if she knew how much her quotes were used by fat girls on the internet.
I accidentally hit Shazam while I was taking a shit, and it told me I was listening to Ke$ha.
You can tell how crazy a girl is by how many hashtags she puts on an Instagram picture.
Stop calling it friends with benefits. Friends help you move. They don't give you a mediocre blowjob every Thursday night.
If God doesn't let gay people into heaven, you know they'll just open up their own version and have way more fun.
I accidentally hit Shazam while I was taking a shit, and it told me I was listening to Ke$ha.
Someone who hates you normally hates you for 1 of 3 reasons. They either see you as a threat. They hate themselves. Or they want to be you.
The amount of time it takes for someone to respond to your text is directly correlated to how much they care about you.
I think Marilyn Monroe would be pissed if she knew how much her quotes were used by fat girls on the internet.
cunt (n.): 1. a slang term for vulva or vagina; 2. any woman who keeps her own last name after getting married.
Stand Up Comedian.
