Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I'm so brainy I could think a horse
Waiting for the wife. Great table at the pub. Need a piss. Not wanting to leave. ARGH! We've all been there!
(Not you, you're single)
Hey guys, stop RTing shit into my timeline. Thanks.
Yes you can RT me, why do you ask?
I'm so hungry I could eat a hearse.
Well the contents I mean. Not the automobile. I'm not rust
If I had a son I'd probably name it
I was actually already in another pub but didn't tell her that.
Men. Never underestimate being quiet sometimes
Wife just said she'd be late & I should go to a pub & wait. I've never loved her more.
Women. Never underestimate saying the right thing
If that guy from the A-Team used to hate flying so much, why name himself after a famous airline?
My nose runs more than... is there someone who runs for president a lot in America. If I'm honest I'm not good at political tweets
I know people always think Australia is hot but for the record, now it's near winter I've got a jumper on.
Don't know why, I'M BOILING!
"Oh yeah, yeah. That's what I was trying to do" - The first guy ever getting caught milking a cow
Ah the 'meeting finished early and I'm in the pub by myself as the world works on' pint.
Very satisfying pint that one
Born from an egg on a mountain top
Like @comedyfishes’ tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.Gift them Pro!