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"Paper, that's my jam" - Printers
Note to self: Diarrhoea Epidemic is a great name for a band
I only go to pub toilets to check out the latest Dyson hand drier.
Haven't had such a hard blow in the toilets since (...etc etc)
Feel sorry for blind men finding the loo. Touching every dirty door sign looking for a Braille: Male
..the bad spellers ending up at the PO
Anyone seen the new James Franco TV show. 11.22.63 when he goes back in time to watch the first episode of Doctor Who
What a crock of shit this made up holiday is eh? At least we have someone though, someone who might actually cared if we died
Have a great day. There's someone out there for you. Relax. Smell the flowers (not your flowers obviously, nobody sent you any)
Choose your own adventure tweets:
If you're single go to tweet 213.
If you're with someone go to tweet 69
If dolphins are so intelligent how come they can only beat me at chess 30% of the time?
Just sitting here drinking wine, watching stuff with my laptop on my legs trying to get my testicles up to 120C
What's happening in the world?
Actually forget it, not interested
The future of the human race is everyone alone in their basements 3D printing sex robots.
Born from an egg on a mountain top
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