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Trying to convince Americans "Cookie Monster" is known in the UK as "Biscuit Abomination".
"that's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion. That's me with a couple from Stroud" Michael Stipe's holiday pics
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are a man's best friend. Everyone's best friend should be the 1974 David Bowie album "Diamond Dogs"
Women! If your costume is "slutty" anything, take a long hard look in the mirror.
Now start touching yourself.
Shhh. I'm not even here
Pressing the button for pedestrian crossings, walking across before it goes off = Action hero walking away whilst stuff explodes behind him
I'd like Theresa May to announce new powers of sweeping, in that she works as a cleaner on a zero hour contract for minimum wage.
Girl, was your father a thief? Because I just decoded half of his treasure map and I need help with the rest.
Bright Club: PhD students doing standup. Those women comedians & their hack material about Mathematical Modelling of Gradient Elasticity.
Kind of weird that Che Guevara called his autobiography "the motorcycle diaries" and not "The Importance of Being Ernesto".
The word 'Randy' for sexually excited comes from the writer Ayn Rand, from how frothed she got at the thought of a poor person being stomped
People who intrinsically empathise with animals really get my goat.
If there's a burlesque artist who sort of looks like a computer character and she's not called Uncanny Valerie she's wasting all our time
Comedian, with a side order of cartoonist, writer and ginmaker. Generally tweeting garbage when wrecked by insomnia.
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