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Trying to convince Americans "Cookie Monster" is known in the UK as "Biscuit Abomination".
"that's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion. That's me with a couple from Stroud" Michael Stipe's holiday pics
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are a man's best friend. Everyone's best friend should be the 1974 David Bowie album "Diamond Dogs"
Pressing the button for pedestrian crossings, walking across before it goes off = Action hero walking away whilst stuff explodes behind him
Girl, was your father a thief? Because I just decoded half of his treasure map and I need help with the rest.
Bright Club: PhD students doing standup. Those women comedians & their hack material about Mathematical Modelling of Gradient Elasticity.
The word 'Randy' for sexually excited comes from the writer Ayn Rand, from how frothed she got at the thought of a poor person being stomped
People who intrinsically empathise with animals really get my goat.
I've had some problems with my idea of putting Ray Davies on a treadmill to make him lose weight. I'm still working out The Kinks.
Well, I flat out don't believe there's a place called 'Futtducking', Steve. But by all means, carry on with this Limerick if you must.
Why do we expect lives that aren't filled with profundity to have last words that are profound? I am going to go out yelling about ham.
Comedian, with a side order of cartoonist, writer and ginmaker. Generally tweeting garbage when wrecked by insomnia.
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