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"that's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion. That's me with a couple from Stroud" Michael Stipe's holiday pics
Trying to convince Americans "Cookie Monster" is known in the UK as "Biscuit Abomination".
A horse runs into a bar.
The bar falls down
He picks up two penalty points
This tweet is not a joke, more an explanation of showjumping.
Took the "Which Disney Princess are you?" quiz, and got "human adult man who needs to stop wasting his life".
I thought I was Belle.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are a man's best friend. Everyone's best friend should be the 1974 David Bowie album "Diamond Dogs"
Just learnt that "going hard in the paint" is a term from basketball. Anyway, I'm banned from B&Q
Women! If your costume is "slutty" anything, take a long hard look in the mirror.
Now start touching yourself.
Shhh. I'm not even here
Odd how many Tea Party members are against Ferguson rioting and destroying property, when they are named after a property destroying riot
Having sex is like riding a bike.
Lance Armstrong needs loads of drugs to do it with a group of men in France.
Remember when 15 of the 21 hijackers on 9/11 were Saudi Arabian, and we flew flags at half mast for their dead king who funded some of it?
Good going, people who put the books in the bible. Honestly, you had one Job
Comedian, cartoonist, writer and chief gin wizard at @fruitbooze. Generally tweeting garbage when wrecked by insomnia.
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