Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Beginning to think David Cameron makes all his decisions by asking "What would Prince Joffrey do?"
The parking spaces outside of Jim Henson's Muppet studios are reserved "for Kermit holders only".
Facebook are offering a free service today where you can awkwardly find out which of your acquaintances have dead dads or ones who ran off.
When CM Punk retires from wrestling, I hope he is replaced by a moodier, more angular wrestler with a synthesizer called CM Post-punk
At primary school I was forced to read a "choose your own adventure" novel in sequential order, because the teacher didn't understand them.
Bono once started a song with "Uno, dos, tees, quatorze" which means "one, two, three, fourteen". He's worth 600 million dollars.
Ironically, I can't think of a band less likely to leave a couple of kisses at the end of a text than the XX.
Greatest headline ever "@eatmyhalo: http://m.lancasterguardian.co.uk/news/lancaster-and-district-news/silly-string-attack-on-boy-carrying-owl-1-5060515 … It's not funny. Not funny at all."
I hoped there would be no consequences to buying a sofa from Death, but sadly there were some unfortunate reaper-cushions.
Ornithology joke: it was tough being a heron addict, but I have no egrets
Would anyone mind if the parole board released some gropers from prison? Just putting some feelers out there.
Women! If your costume is "slutty" anything, take a long hard look in the mirror.
Now start touching yourself.
Shhh. I'm not even here
It's a depressing sign of my priorities that if I type "La" on my phone, it will suggest completing the word as "Lannister"
Comedian, occasional cartoonist, writer and freelance scamp. Holder of the title 'Chortle Comedy Quiz Champion' for life, or until they hold it again.