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Trying to convince Americans "Cookie Monster" is known in the UK as "Biscuit Abomination".
"that's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion. That's me with a couple from Stroud" Michael Stipe's holiday pics
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are a man's best friend. Everyone's best friend should be the 1974 David Bowie album "Diamond Dogs"
Women! If your costume is "slutty" anything, take a long hard look in the mirror.
Now start touching yourself.
Shhh. I'm not even here
Good going, people who put the books in the bible. Honestly, you had one Job
Pressing the button for pedestrian crossings, walking across before it goes off = Action hero walking away whilst stuff explodes behind him
I'd like Theresa May to announce new powers of sweeping, in that she works as a cleaner on a zero hour contract for minimum wage.
Girl, was your father a thief? Because I just decoded half of his treasure map and I need help with the rest.
Bright Club: PhD students doing standup. Those women comedians & their hack material about Mathematical Modelling of Gradient Elasticity.
Does anyone need a computer game character designed? I'm doing art therapy with an autistic kid and he wants to get into it. Please RT.
Kind of weird that Che Guevara called his autobiography "the motorcycle diaries" and not "The Importance of Being Ernesto".
Comedian, with a side order of cartoonist, writer and ginmaker. Generally tweeting garbage when wrecked by insomnia.
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