My girlfriend said she's going to break up with me because I keep making Linkin Park references. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.

"Where did you go for Winter break?" "Internet."

(i) h(ate) myself(all of the food in our fridge)

The hardcore way to eat ramen: 1. boil water 2. eat block of ramen 3. drink boiling water 4. snort flavor powder 5. fuck bitches

FWD: I'm about to give you some advice that a wise man named nelly once told me: When it gets too hot, just take off all your clothes.

I'm kind of cute when you look at me with your eyes closed.

#ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage: Fall Out Boy song titles

a cat falls into the water and the rooster laughs. what's the moral of the story? a wet pussy always makes a happy cock.

The hobbit you just called fat? He’s skipping 2nd breakfast. Think before you judge.

did it hurt when you fell from heaven because have sex with me

To Write Yolo On Her Arms

We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff.

The hardcore way to eat Ramen: boil water, eat block of Ramen, drink boiling water, snort flavor powder, fuck bitches.

Hitler was just misunderstood. He wanted a glass of juice not to gas the Jews.

i want Morgan Freeman, to narrate the moment when i lose my virginity.

oh my god, @elishasazombie is always reblogging pretty girls. why doesn't she blog about herself? she is just as pretty as them.

I’m so glad you just said no homo after complimenting me. I was real worried for a sec that I’d have to bend you over a counter and fuck you

I love black people. I think everyone should own one.

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park but in the end, it doesn't even matter.

Relationship? Is that some sort of cheese?