*looks up pics of spiders on gloogle* nice nice *turns mature content filter OFF* NICE NICE

#ThingsNotToSayOnTheFirstDate 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐 卐

son we need to talk. your mom and i saw your internet history and it wasnt pretty. frankly, we are concerned. can you seriously not kickflip

this club is wild it got everything. long dark hallway, a large central pump, bubbles, big noodles flyin everywhere. wait is this a carwash

Anyone who says hi to a cat but doesn't do it in falsetto is a shady fucker

at one point, every man named Gary was a baby and was introduced by his parents as "This is my baby, Gary" how fucked up is that shit

Go to church + change organists sheet music to slightly lower notes each week until after a while everyone is wearing hoods and eating drugs

THE ALPHABET IN ORDER OF AESTHETIC SIMPLICITY:

I O U C J S L Z V N F E D P T X Y W M R B A K H Q G

PLEASE USE THIS SYSTEM FROM NOW ON

Kanye West opening a breakfast restaurant called 'Omelette You Finish'

son its time for the sex talk.pretend my computer is a girl. how might u find her settings? "dad u dont know how to use ur computer do u"

if u want to impress girls just go to the hardware store and buy a bunch of saws. buy like 20 saws.

[__( ˘•˘ )__] sound asleep.
[__( °-° )__] wake up cuz u felt somethin weird.
[__( ›_‹ )__] its a poop. ur poopin.

son...it's time for the sex talk. Son, when a boy gets aroused, his sexpenis begins to float away from his body and into the sea, forever

|_( •_•)(•_• )_| tucked in for bed.
|_(~_~)(~_~)_| sleeping.
|_( ~_•)(~_~)_| peek over at u sleepin.
|_____(~_~)_| sneak out

son its time 4 the sex talk. this is a nude babes bod. point out the following body parts: Coinsac. Tiblio. Conch. Lubris. Terminal 9. Husk

*fucks up big time* ha ha whoops! *offends some people* lol sorry *does regrettable thing* wtf ha my bad *commits atrocity* oops! Haha whoa!

[•[•[•[•[•[•[•_•]•]•]•]•]•]•] Lego guy gang comin right at u

and god sayeth unto Moses in a thundering voice "MOSES, YOLO" and so Moses did what Moseses do he graffitied a wiener on the 10 commandments

*rolls my jeans up until my entire legs are showing and I have two super thick denim donuts encasing my legs and I look fucking great*

[_✹_(•_•)_] sleeping with a spider, or flexin at sunset