my twitter account is solely for tweeting at influential people for no apparent reason @michelleobama knows whats up! see ya next week girl!

I delete a picture if nobody likes it. Cause I'm a white 19 year old American girl and I literally survive on attention.

“@fellowearthian: This Halloween, I'm going to scare everyone I know by texting them "We need to talk."” @e_sandford

2 girls I was in high school with got engaged this week, and I've never had a boyfriend. #happyforthem #sadforme

Sad Truth Time: A picture of my dinner got more likes than my selfie.

"Awake" and ready to go 😴😴

I think 7 is the max number is times you can say 'magic' in a conversation without people thinking you're a wizard.

*batman voice* I know the guac is extra

The holidays that white college students will celebrate with drinking is getting to be ridiculous. #cincodemayo

And that's why you always leave a note #ArrestedDevelopmentPickUpLines

@chuchugoogoo @kizz_bro well that was just adorabke

It's kind of weird that there are tv shows that are not Seinfeld. #slapbass

I have 100 followers! I don't even care I you have more than me, this is very exciting!

Darn. I hate when I use 'me' instead of 'my' and I sound like a leprechaun.

@asimplemachine you just won twitter.

@themoviemuffin only when he swoops in at the club. Other than that they are the same.

@themoviemuffin totes depressing.

YOU CAN GIVE ANYONE ANYTHING AS A PRESENT AS LONG AS YOU LOOK SUPER SINCERE

@aaronfullerton the wellest of wishes.

@iwearpajamas aye!