There's an entire car on fire on the Bay Bridge eastbound: http://t.co/f8XbtxnY

Thrilled to announce the new Twitter archive feature, an offline download of all of your Tweets:  http://blog.twitter.com/2012/12/your-twitter-archive.html …

Last night's cab:
“You take @square!”
“Yeah, last customer was an employee. You work there too?”
“Twitter.”
“Ah, same boss.”

SF, everyone.

Using @spotify after months of @rdio is like watching The Phantom Menace right after The Empire Strikes Back.

“I thought of a new hiring slogan for Twitter: Come @ me, bro.”

This time, last Sunday. pic.twitter.com/vWN0uuE6

Yakusuni Shrine Hadouken with @chanian, @chenosaurus, @n8agrin, @johnheywood, and the one and only @dhc. pic.twitter.com/iTnJsOIb2e

Even six seconds is enough time for @origiful to make a killer recruiting short:  https://vine.co/v/bjd1gDhvY6h 

The audience moderation app I built with @dustin is now open source! Introducing Ospriet (née Osprey) from Twitter: http://t.co/3oh8CXAz

I move to SF and miss an earthquake in DC. Mother Nature is testing my threshold for irony.

Katamari Damacy, but with a giant burrito rolling down Valencia Street plucking up tech nerds

Pulled up Web Inspector to remove a site's interstitial. Mom: “Is that the site’s code? A…are you hacking that website‽ That's malicious!”

The entire office right now: http://t.co/HW6v3qaW

“Silicon Valley is a place where everyone just says ‘yes.’”
“You know that’s how Jurassic Park started.”

No words to describe biking across the Golden Gate bridge enveloped in morning fog, horn bellowing beneath you. http://t.co/KwGGu7Xw

I woke up really early this morning to see the sunrise on the West Coast so that you could, too:  http://flic.kr/p/dR73iQ 

When people tell me they bought a Groupon, their voice has the same sense of embarrassment as owning up to a fart.

The news of Steve Jobs' death broke during Twitter's engineering all-hands meeting; we all just took a moment of silence. Rather speechless.

Started drinking a latte without Instagramming it and what, why are you handing me this Mission eviction notice, officer

So much of Twitter is just the theatricality of humans trying to understand their relationship with machines.