Sucks having feelings for someone who only kind of wants you.

'My car smells like farts and beers, how manly is that?!' - @katiescarpello

Bacon, eggs, sausage, biscuits and gravy. #sundaybrunch #getinmybelly #eatingtoomuch #fattweet

I just licked my fingers and slicked my pup's hair back hahahaha she needs a haircut.

May the fourth be with you...

Lies. #chunkymonkey RT @asshat33: RT @mermaid_tale: Being skinny feels better than food tastes.

Your boyfriend macked on meeee.

RT @bestworstadvice: Fighting with your stepdad about leftovers? Explain how he already got your dad's.

Getting back on my tweet game, #HAAAAAAAYYY

Dodgeball on fountain square? Why am i not a part of this?

If the world ends, ill be drunk and high. #goodwaytodie

Caulliflower is a giant albino broccli.

I don't know you but I want you, all the more for that.

Constantly raping my lungs and liver.

RT @funsizdprincess: I make poor look pretty damn good...

'Quick, easy, and cheap, sounds a lot like my ex girlfriend

I just wish I could always be in a bathtub.

So over talking to people who can't hold a conversation....

I would love to be cheifing on a fat blunt right now.. #cananyonemakethishappen

Hahaha I love finding out the most absurd things about people, that I could give two shits about but their lives are still amusing to meeee.