@CourtneyReimer's (Courtney Reimer) most faved Tweets...
Yesterday I drank some water while peeing -- a move that shall henceforth be known as "refilling my Brita."
A Stephen King story is in this week's New Yorker, but no one will see it: every copy is soaked with bitter tears of creative writing MFAs.
This girl told me I look like Natalie Merchant, which was probably a polite way of saying I look like an entire small town of crazy people.
Because it made me want to watch the Winter Olympics, Twitter is (choose one):
a) Magic
b) Diabolical
c) Secretly Canadian
a) Magic
b) Diabolical
c) Secretly Canadian
Yesterday I celebrated National Punctuation Day at the beach and now I can't get the ampersand out of my shoes.
If AT&T's signals extended as much as Luke Wilson's waistband has in the last couple years they might actually qualify as a phone company.
I like being asked "Lady, can you spare a dime?" It's a sign I'm pulling off the "I have dimes to spare" charade. And the "lady" one, too.
I've noticed Pizza Hut avoids the word "pizzeria" in its ads. Probably because it rhymes with what their product tastes like.
If you're that girl walking down the street, tapping away on your phone, I will cut you.
If I'm that girl, please cut a pathway for me.
If I'm that girl, please cut a pathway for me.
Twitter's front page reminds me of most of the men I've dated: accommodating when things are new, but not very helpful once I've signed up.
If you're using the internet to brag about being "off the grid," my guess is you're really just off your meds.
Everytime I enter a Forever 21 I feel like Matthew McConaughey in Dazed & Confused: I keep getting older, the clothes stay the same age.
It's pretty clear that no member of Black Eyed Peas need be present in order for it to be considered a Black Eyed Peas performance.
Saying "I, for one" is kinda silly. Unless you're pregnant, in which case it makes sense to specify you're not also speaking for the baby.
I'm at the high end of an age-range checkbox and the low end of a salary-range checkbox. Surely there's a name for this affliction.
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