gentlemen behold i have crossbred a 45 year old schizophrenic conspiracy theorist with a shit stupid bieberloving teen #freeJahar

10 years ago we had david lynch, john waters + david byrne and still do which is why enhanced interrogation is still legal your honor

Masonic Youth #conspiracybands

a butt wig, a.k.a. a "poupée"

shoot a person to death with a gun. was it me? if not repeat it until it is

i have decided to combine the gendered terms "guys" and "gals" into the gender neutral term "gays". can't wait to try it out.

<Shadow Government Meeting> Obama: Gentlemen, the riot is going exactly as planned. Osama Bin Laden: Yes, also I am alive #londonriots

The ghastly form upon my kitchen counter swoops and stands
Hideous countenance summoned from far off lands
Quoth the heron, 'pots and pans'

bioshock infinite will i like you??
☐ yes
☐ no
☑i looked up these checkbox character using google

*drinks from false and true grail simultaneously* *becomes grotesque contortion of endlessly rotting+refreshing flesh* *dances charleston*

ppl alwys mad abt MALE PRIVILEGE bt what abt EXCLUSIVELY FEMALE PRIVILEGE of summoning gnarled creatures from loamy soil to build stonehenge

wikipedia is down... WITH THE CLOWN *pic of obese man in makeup envelops your display as hot delicious faygo pours from your speakers*

i am a girl. every time i have sex there is a nonzero chance that my body bloats up and a miniature human erupts from my most sensitive hole

did you know meat is a vegetable. its true. ask this doctor. since the doctor is made of meat he is a vegetable and won't reply.

Hi one ticket for Horny Masturbation. whoa brain fart lol i meant The Hobbit, where i will be making Horny Masturbation. u have a spare cup?

GOOGLE SEARCH -> WHAT IS THE BIGGEST INSECT -> OH NO THATS TOO BIG -> WHAT IS THE MOST MEDIUM SIZED INSECT -> SWEET BABY RAY'S ECONOMY SIZE

remember remember bugs are legal tender

The defendant has been found guilty of "Never seeing a big dog trying to nap while a small dog wants to play". The execution is at dawn.

the fact that my twitter has not been flooded with people parroting portal 2 jokes serves as evidence i am following the Correct People

submitted for the approval of the midnight society *tosses magic dirt on fire* the story of Cindy Totally Smooched Me + Told Me Not To Tell