@crackbarbie's (your real name) most favourited tweets

@crackbarbie

Popular Recent Faved By Given

Friends: 195

Followers: 3,126

Favs Given: 3,196

Favs Rec'd: 20,289

@crackbarbie's (your real name) most faved Tweets...

Old people sleep in separate beds because they don't want to wake up next to a dead body.

@crackbarbie

275

260 VIEW
ALL

Me: I had an awful day.
Him: Rough?
M: Yes! I dealt with so much BS!
H: Rough.
M: It's like you don't even care!
H: Rough.

I hate my dog.

@crackbarbie

206

191 VIEW
ALL

Did you know if you play JAWS backwards it's a movie about a shark that throws up so many people they have to open up a beach?

@crackbarbie

168

153 VIEW
ALL

I'm definitely going home with the Mom of the Year award. I took the double A's out of my vibrator so my son can play SpongeBob Operation.

@crackbarbie

163

148 VIEW
ALL

I think that they should put pictures of missing transvestites on cartons of Half and Half.

@crackbarbie

156

141 VIEW
ALL

Did you know you can fit 5 jelly beans in a sleeping child's nostril? I mean, I bet you can.

@crackbarbie

140

125 VIEW
ALL

I'm buying the store brand toilet paper. I don't have any assholes to impress this week.

@crackbarbie

116

101 VIEW
ALL

Do you know what that useless skin around the vagina is? The woman.

@crackbarbie

105

90 VIEW
ALL

What do you call a black guy that flys a plane? A pilot, you racists.

@crackbarbie

103

88 VIEW
ALL

Before I saw the "fundraiser" part of that sign, "Leukemia Spaghetti" sounded horrifying.

@crackbarbie

102

87 VIEW
ALL

Awwww, that was sweet of them. Nyquil has a recommended dosage.

@crackbarbie

81 VIEW
ALL

Pretty sad when I can look through favrd to find the first day of my last period.

@crackbarbie

76 VIEW
ALL

Spell check always tries to change "jalepeno" to "jalopy" "Queso" to "quest" & "Mexican" to "cheap laborer." Phone is not Hispanic friendly.

@crackbarbie

74 VIEW
ALL

Is it wrong that whenever I see an ambulance in front of a nursing home "Another one bites the dust" pops into my head?

@crackbarbie

72 VIEW
ALL

Spilled my fucking Chinese food. This is why I can't have rice things.

@crackbarbie

72 VIEW
ALL

I'm the classiest person in this mall and I just pooped my pants.

@crackbarbie

66 VIEW
ALL

Nobody gets my bad 80's band puns. Maybe I should Go Go to a Crowded House in Chicago where some Men At Work can get me a fresh Air Supply.

@crackbarbie

63 VIEW
ALL

I lost 4 pounds. I think it's because I shaved my legs.

@crackbarbie

61 VIEW
ALL

Just had an 89 year old lady apologize to me for farting while I was giving her a perm. I high fived her.

@crackbarbie

60 VIEW
ALL

A handlebar mustache may look ridiculous, but symmetrical eyelashes are even cilia.

@crackbarbie

59 VIEW
ALL

Click here to lend your support to: Favstar.fm server expenses and make a donation at www.pledgie.com !

Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar

Favstar.fm