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My ideal Republican debate is Sam the Eagle, Oscar the Grouch, Statler and Waldorf. Since that's not happening I'm gonna watch porn.
Anyone up for chipping in on a bunch of sex toys to mail to NC so legislators can go fuck themselves? #LoveIsLove
This is a free hug on Twitter. Just for you. You can favorite it and come back when you need it.
If X-Men has taught me anything, you should ALWAYS adopt. Orphans have superpowers.
Just walked into a spider web, so I'll be setting my face on fire shortly.
"Man, there are a lot of tiny hookers out this morning." - Me, before realizing its the first day of school.
Why am I not tongue deep in an Aussie? What the fuck is a Cuddlah network for?
Putting food on other people is considered sexy. Dropping food on yourself is considered sloppy. Double standards are the worst.
Reminder: Chris Brown beat the shit out of a woman. There are thousands of talented gentleman that wouldn't do that, yet they're overlooked.
Fuck all the haters. I love this. #Madonna #SuperBowl
Every month I want "Congrats! You're not having a baby!" written on a cake at the bakery. Then I want to cheerfully eat that cake.
Old ladies running from Costco during a downpour is a wet t-shirt contest that no one wins.
I'm still never going to regret this tattoo.
During my free time I write, sing loudly, take photos and form a bad ass internet family.