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Put my undies on backwards whilst getting dressed this morning, therefore it will be a MAGICAL day for this girl *double thumbs up*
Mom: I really enjoy it when you come home Me: Aww thanks mom! Dad: yeah me too Me: Thanks Dad! Dad: When are you leaving?
Getting lost, not cooking, rotten food in the fridge, suspiciousness, unpaid bills, unkempt: signs you have dementia (or you're single)
Just an FYI....I will be participating in National Tap Dance Day, Hamburger Day, Macaroon Day and My Bucket's Got a Hole in it Day, in May
"I'd rather slice my eyeballs with a razor and douse my face in iodine" - My friend MO when she doesn't want to do something... I.love.her.
Frozen bead! Bread I meant, I'm fucked
Peanut butter, jam, frozen bead, bar of chocolate, sounds ok, add my sleeper and it turns into an amazing article written by a slurring turd
I love my mom!
I love me
Had a great night with the girls!!!!!
I will scrabble slaughter you
Two weeks ago I was scraping ice off my car, today the AC is on.... SWEET
"You are a fucking idiot lady" - me to somebody
A real friend tells you what you've missed and if you're going to make the same mistake twice