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Put my undies on backwards whilst getting dressed this morning, therefore it will be a MAGICAL day for this girl *double thumbs up*
Mom: I really enjoy it when you come home Me: Aww thanks mom! Dad: yeah me too Me: Thanks Dad! Dad: When are you leaving?
Getting lost, not cooking, rotten food in the fridge, suspiciousness, unpaid bills, unkempt: signs you have dementia (or you're single)
Just an FYI....I will be participating in National Tap Dance Day, Hamburger Day, Macaroon Day and My Bucket's Got a Hole in it Day, in May
"I'd rather slice my eyeballs with a razor and douse my face in iodine" - My friend MO when she doesn't want to do something... I.love.her.
Frozen bead! Bread I meant, I'm fucked
Peanut butter, jam, frozen bead, bar of chocolate, sounds ok, add my sleeper and it turns into an amazing article written by a slurring turd
I love my mom!
Better put my happy girl pants on before I stab someone with my eyeballs
I love me
Had a great night with the girls!!!!!
I will scrabble slaughter you
Niece18: ugh I hate everybody. Me41: don't be like that. Niece18: You just called that driver a dumb bitch. Me41: I'm old and on my period.
I'm no angel, and far from perfect, but I AM judging you today, yes I am. I hope life gives you what you deserve, a punch in your face...