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Put my undies on backwards whilst getting dressed this morning, therefore it will be a MAGICAL day for this girl *double thumbs up*
Mom: I really enjoy it when you come home Me: Aww thanks mom! Dad: yeah me too Me: Thanks Dad! Dad: When are you leaving?
Getting lost, not cooking, rotten food in the fridge, suspiciousness, unpaid bills, unkempt: signs you have dementia (or you're single)
Just an FYI....I will be participating in National Tap Dance Day, Hamburger Day, Macaroon Day and My Bucket's Got a Hole in it Day, in May
"I'd rather slice my eyeballs with a razor and douse my face in iodine" - My friend MO when she doesn't want to do something... I.love.her.
Peanut butter, jam, frozen bead, bar of chocolate, sounds ok, add my sleeper and it turns into an amazing article written by a slurring turd
From this day forth, at every obstacle I encounter, I will ask myself "what would #lizlemon do?" then do just that... #win-win
#snl is really good on immovaine ...oh ya californians #funny as #fuck. Did I spell ok?
Two weeks ago I was scraping ice off my car, today the AC is on.... SWEET
A real friend tells you what you've missed and if you're going to make the same mistake twice
Well behaved women seldom make history ;)
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