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I'll make out with you in the handicapped stall in this bar bathroom, I don't give a fuck.
I haven't even had a drink yet, but someone should probably come take my keys anyway.
"I have Redi-Wip, we can do whip-its." -best friend
"Holy shit YEAAHHH!" -me
"Dude I was kidding. We aren't 14." -bf
"Oh. Right. :(" -me
cum on my face and then go get tacos.
I'd let you suck the Cheetos dust from my fingertips.
it's 2pm, so that means it's time to sit on the porch with a bottle of Jameson so I can yell at the neighbor kids when they get off the bus.
my food baby is kicking again. aww. *rubs belly*
he tried to cut my heart out but couldn't find it.
just heard some gunshots and screaming from up the street but I'm sure it's nothing serious.
She's a dove, she's a fuckin' nightmare. writer. biter. lover. fighter.