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When I get into the pub, I always think, "Who are these weird drunkards" ... but when I'm leaving it feels like I'm abandoning my family.
Dear politicians, I did not call a presser to complain that the queue was long and disorganized. I waited. Do the same.
Are you hungry? Here, have a burger. But you have to eat it within five seconds or I'm taking it back - Safaricom
Dear brands, number of followers does not equal influence. And influence is mostly topical, not general.
I dont care whether its AlShabaab, MRC or the west trying to make the govt look bad. Govt should sort it out. We can have that debate later.
Al Qaeda declaring war on ISIS? LOL. That's like your exes fighting. You wouldn't care if anyone wins provided they hurt each other bad.
Magic: Currently happening on Uhuru highway. Nearly dead flowers and grass have a deadline to deliver beauty by Friday.
Relax guys. Relax. All is well. Ole Lenku is in charge. And if he fails, there are Presidential adverts.
I think the President needs another advert in army fatigues. The earlier one isn't scaring them enough.
#RudishaFacts Most people run like the wind. The wind runs like Rudisha
And said HELB compliance cert is valid for a year? LOL. Like they forgot they cleared you or something?
Hackers: We are anonymous!
Lenku: Mr. Anonymous is well known to the government. We'll release his second name shortly.
Mpeketoni: Network jam
Next: Terrorists blocked police on twitter so they were unable to DM them bullets.
I'm good at pretending to be a geek. My clients are even better at pretending I'm good at it.
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