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When I get into the pub, I always think, "Who are these weird drunkards" ... but when I'm leaving it feels like I'm abandoning my family.
Dear politicians, I did not call a presser to complain that the queue was long and disorganized. I waited. Do the same.
Are you hungry? Here, have a burger. But you have to eat it within five seconds or I'm taking it back - Safaricom
Dear brands, number of followers does not equal influence. And influence is mostly topical, not general.
I dont care whether its AlShabaab, MRC or the west trying to make the govt look bad. Govt should sort it out. We can have that debate later.
Magic: Currently happening on Uhuru highway. Nearly dead flowers and grass have a deadline to deliver beauty by Friday.
Relax guys. Relax. All is well. Ole Lenku is in charge. And if he fails, there are Presidential adverts.
I think the President needs another advert in army fatigues. The earlier one isn't scaring them enough.
#RudishaFacts Most people run like the wind. The wind runs like Rudisha
And said HELB compliance cert is valid for a year? LOL. Like they forgot they cleared you or something?
Hackers: We are anonymous!
Lenku: Mr. Anonymous is well known to the government. We'll release his second name shortly.
Mpeketoni: Network jam
Next: Terrorists blocked police on twitter so they were unable to DM them bullets.
The arrogance of politicians! Can you imagine a new employee demanding a pay rise during orientation?
I'm good at pretending to be a geek. My clients are even better at pretending I'm good at it.
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