Today's score: Bales of hay-6 / Dead werewolves- 1 (Probably. I didn't get a good look at it.)

I like to play this game on my drive to work wherein I guess whether the thing on the side of the road is a bale of hay or a dead werewolf.

To this day when I hear the song "The Boys Are Back in Town" I still think they are singing about "Poison Paper Towels".

Put in my notice at work! Now I respond to all my emails with: "No, thank you", "Unsubscribe", or "Please remove me from your mailing list."

J opens the oven, "What are these?" My grandma answered "Those are Garnet's" to which J replied "Mmm! What's a garnet?" (Garnet is my aunt.)

All hopped up on Punky Corn & ready for the @blastoffpodcast live show tonight! I've been waiting for this moment my entire life..er... day!

In the car yesterday my 2yr old niece asked "Does anyone have cheese?" & my sister in law handed her a piece. This is now my go-to question.

My sister (who rarely drinks) is drunk and we're at a karaoke bar and she just told the DJ that Van Morrison is Hootie and the Blowfish.

Scored a big interview Fri, but I'm going to FL for my sister's wedding. I asked if it was possible to reschedule, but my sister said no. :(

You sent me an invitation to your wedding in Fiji in 3 weeks, but you and I both know this is really just a gift-subpoena.

Yes, I saw the "DANGER! Do not touch!" sign, but it was printed in comic sans, so I thought you were kidding! Anyhoo- sorry about the blood.

I research my symptoms on WebMD, then bring my Dr. a list of my top 3 diseases & let him pick the one I have. He appreciates having options.

I woke up thinking about that & I'm not sure why, but if it saves just one person from making that mistake I guess it was worth sharing.

If you taught a zebra how to talk, they'd probably just complain about giraffes all day so it would be a waste of your time.

I stared silently. Heart racing. Nervously I whispered "I love you". And was met with silence.

Then I remembered- cookies don't have ears.

So, as many of you know, 4 months ago I lost my grandma then 2 weeks ago I lost my mom... It's been tough, but I'm still here! ;)

I introduced myself to our new employee & had her talking about her dead mother within 10 mins. I'm not on the welcoming committee anymore.

Well, I've made 3 people in my office cry this morning. That's a new personal best!

Read an ad as "electronic CIGARETTE STARTER KIT" instead of "ELECTRONIC CIGARETTE starter kit" & thought it was a tool to learn how to smoke

I mentioned to a coworker that I hated grits and she responded that grits are a "required taste" so now I'm sad. I don't want to like them!