Running through Costco just now was just like running through a level of zombies. #cod

Just put in a solid 2 hours catching up on 25 hours of tweets. Put about 4 min into FB cause that shit is garbage. TwitFriends>RealFriends

Sometimes I just star a tweet instead or retweeting bc I don't want my followers to know how obnoxious I really am

in case u were wondering how tough i am, i percolate my coffee the John Wayne way

never leave ur prints on someone else's knife. i don't care who it is, wipe that weapon clean.

i know the deadline is in a 1/2 hour, but i feel like it's necessary to fuck w/ Shells right now

idk what these old fuckers don't understand. I'm not waiting for the phone to ring and i'm not gonna stop what i'm doing to answer it

how many born again, self proclaimed, broke, tax advisors have u encountered this season?

Had an extra 40 minutes to kill this morning. I got all of the resin out of my pieces but can't quite get this bit off my finger

am i wearing a sign that says tell me ur sob story?

idk how gmail in safari knew i meant to add and attachment, but it just saved me an embarrassment

Considering dedicating a line at the office w/ obnoxious waiting noise for callers we can't stand talking to

life, it's what u got and it's only what u make of it. Make it count, it's up to you

I saved a lot of $, bout 70%, on my auto insurance by dropping the Audi and just keeping the Ford.

Google needs to step up their reverse phone number look up. I'm trying to sell shit on Craigslist, not get stabbed and tortured

We're eating American tonight pic.twitter.com/4KOiSCq80M

They're silver hairs. They come w knowledge and I'm full of knowledge. They are not to be confused w gray hairs, which are from being old.

@thesharkdaymond that's cool but u still have to worry about the drawer or tray they were stored in

“@breakcom: this is what our for fathers intended us to do w our freedom http://t.co/21SaSjIF”

@_prozach74 @xmistressvx people have the choice not to be an idiot and yet they're still in abundance