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Whenever my dog sees me putting on pants, she thinks we're going on a walk. That's how often I don't wear pants.
[8:45:56 PM] Caitlin: i wish my mom wasn't a FUCKING FASCIST and let me sit on the roof
i'd so bone adam scott and his stupid, life-ruining face
How do I get into Seth Meyers' phone contacts. HOW DO I GET INTO SETH MEYERS' PHONE CONTACTS???????
[4:06:31 PM] Caitlin: sleep boners are funny
Ya auto correct, my parents made me from jazz and egg
HAHAHA HIS BONER
i need to cut some index cards up and make tobias funke analrapist business cards
can't find lauren's boa to be fawkes. i'm gonna fucking be tobias funke
After injecting meth, Aaron masturbates for 10 to 12 hours.
looking back on yesterday, i'm so happy i didn't have to poop on the rocks and i just had to pee
"I'm gonna make out with him. On his face."
[7:56:34 PM] Caitlin: a turtle makes its gross sex noises as it bites your dick off
[7:56:40 PM] Caitlin: worst vacation ever
HAHAHAH MEDICINE HAT. ALWAYS FUNNY. I GOTTA GO TO THERE SO I CAN LAUGH FOREVER
i should give myself a goddess leslie knope hairdo tonight. fighting CANCER
walked outside in panties, an oM shirt, and cowboy boots. my neighbors were out. oh
I'm crying real tears over a boner
Guess what I'm laughing about? (Hint: it's boners)