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  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    Home Alone (1990, Comedy) Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child

    • 5,093
    • FAVS
    JtSizzlesTheThoughtBusbitchinkaitlinintangibIygoatcheese_nipstweetlycleversir_jtylercrawlspacetime
    • 4,269
    • RETWEETS
    plainskulljiffy_peanutsMissKayla1331hammychannyBad_driver1serpensdihashtagamanda_goth_cutie
    tnylgnjonnysunHome_Halfwaypudding_clubwowjaredawesometastefactorySlothCEOSamGrittnersimasitoUNTRESOR
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    "daddy where do babies come from"
    "we just don't know, sweetie...*peers through blinds, the sky is dark with babies* "...we just don't know"

    • 4,639
    • FAVS
    wask0lilleduntranscognityDah_ButlahcumshitassToxicProbablynuggettassewayneberninger
    • 3,088
    • RETWEETS
    sveikilllelio_rising_plainskullstaysparkly3JakeTurnerisRadJinx0_Pepsiman2830aimeecow
    anjadrischvelcrofannypackHome_Halfway_Jim_FearearfdaeBeeStaplerUNTRESORnrrbtpoopiestjonnysunshruglordgrumpysalmonPajamaBen_AstonishingSod
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    "Yesterday you were 3 Chainz and now it's 5 Chainz," Janet cried. "Where does it stop?"
    8 Chainz frowned. "14 Chainz doesn't have time for

    • 3,779
    • FAVS
    wask0SkankOfTheSeaj00liejuliamkernAGuyNamedNamBarAndFitnessWishboneDouglasKryptonGirl
    • 2,596
    • RETWEETS
    BarAndFitnessDustinJansoverhexedsugarplumvodkaJakeTurnerisRadmadspalicajess_luczynskaDBwiddaDB
    EenfidelDavidRaymondTMickey_McCauleySatansTonguebriangaartrash_sleeperGHOSTBONESPajamaBen_dankmtl
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    SHE's an upright lawyer who plays it by the book. HE's a carefree guitarist who plays it by ear. But they're both *record scratch* assholes

    • 4,089
    • FAVS
    The_Best_Jake4cumshitassRojeezeeBackpackerBooietwterlessAustinletlolalivefredricodenborgcptjaneway
    • 1,948
    • RETWEETS
    The_Best_Jake4plainskullJakeTurnerisRadRoneSpeakChokenspitspuhZebisLottiebuzza1979twerkswithwolfs
    SpaceCatZeroManda_like_wineAceMakesWordselectrolemon
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    there's a piece of meat in your chest thats constantly taking in and shooting out blood and sometimes it has special feelings about people

    • 2,699
    • FAVS
    JtSizzlesSkankOfTheSeaelizabethh__gBGEMBhalfwayundeadDemienSixxPierreLeMeatObiwan_Jacobi
    • 2,392
    • RETWEETS
    KyleGrimes10gothjillbidenplainskullFallOfTroy013BGEMBhalfwayundeadnadeomwizardsleev3s
    JasonLastnameSamGrittnerUNTRESOR
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    it's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the guns taped to the dogs head *batman voice* Alfred look what I did to the dog

    • 3,044
    • FAVS
    JtSizzlesDaddysNewShoesSuperSMadsenSeannMorgank_tewbdavidperkins246haleymccollompatfitz41
    • 2,047
    • RETWEETS
    Nick_q1aghoulygirlQuotebookGuycarterlovinsmosstheishdomnozahicroryjackson_AHigherTyler
    BromanConsulRowdySailboatMickey_McCauleysunfilterjefftminstonjonnysuncrylenolbroccobamali_Jim_Fear
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    "Mr Bush, do you want my coke?"
    "Yeah sure" *Bush drinks coke as kid walks away*
    "Hey kid...catch"
    *kid turns around to see incoming plane*

    • 2,947
    • FAVS
    thats_notfunnySeanSanderandrewcameracumshitasssnow_vanMrSunnyEndDaysfrknbnsSquigglosaur
    • 1,431
    • RETWEETS
    plainskullSoul_JamesdannolanandrewcameraTotallyAnaloginitfodrubel2EAGLERAY6
    JennyPentlandRowdySailboatspitfirehussySlothCEODJ_PiddlesKyle_LippertTheDairylandDonUsedTurtleKKAlThaniSPSSSdungphenom________hottubpeepattymorudetanksplopadopthrillbo__________robfeebrownboyblueschuchugoogooJevenSteakobsonbrassiere_broAceMakesWordsWeedCoffinweird_hugs________
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    *impales flutist* "must be flute poisoning" *bludgeons French horn player* "am I making u horny" *throws tuba player off cliff* "tu...bad."

    • 2,814
    • FAVS
    WenlameiadumbfishBert_MacklinFBIjoek37sayrey93Shockalapaguscumshitassfzed_
    • 1,489
    • RETWEETS
    plainskullSierraWigglesTLBstarkradxdaddyalmightywheezeboarderbreenMichaelTFHbloinch
    Poopy_Pizza_PaldammitbabiesBassoonJokestastefactoryweird_hugs________chrisjoonior
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    Batman accidentally tweeting from his Bruce Wayne account

    • 2,313
    • FAVS
    lauragarzxncumshitassCassHrabiksnow_vanfzed_MikeWeber69SiobhanRafteropenchakra
    • 1,904
    • RETWEETS
    rnarcelaBlackToAfricaadeniekeplainskullRyancantsingsassy_janeesnow_vanJakeTurnerisRad
    sisediSortaBadineedaballrub
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    Replace the Ts in Tim Tebow's name with any other consonant to get a Star Wars character

    • 2,254
    • FAVS
    humpnotesrickyklopsockrespondcreateM_E_T_R_Omatty_ice1993verysxckkidHarryToodleswinston_dong
    • 1,934
    • RETWEETS
    thewaron_hugsDaftPunkandLove7hgxl5081_vicdeadmoscowworimcarmeljamjoshvartyHarryToodles
    FartButt11pattymoearfdae
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    Obama sobs as he signs Theres No More Ice Cream Act. "Its really all gone?!" he cries. Biden winks to crowd as he sneaks up w/ giant sundae

    • 2,335
    • FAVS
    likeagschmitzcumshitassbarold_69chief_dalesickvinedropcallum_stanfordalmightywheezeYasserA_
    • 1,675
    • RETWEETS
    plainskullthebigG_69rkammerzeltlikeagschmitzGabeLoinsJakeTurnerisRadsickvinedropalmightywheeze
    maxlavergneRowdySailboatshruglordFred_Deliciousoceanicfacebook__electrolemonWeedCoffin
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    "I OBJECT" "no, Counsel...you person." *emotional hug*

    • 2,341
    • FAVS
    6_2ChinaMan_tawnie2cool4deathserrotnodnarbBabetteKDAnt_Waterdrewseph3ORIGINEELDIT
    • 1,258
    • RETWEETS
    6_2ChinaManintangibIycoloredcorpseiAmNotNickVoastromaudWaarisWaldogeagiteerdideawhore
    jwoodhamAceMakesWordsalien_sushiUsedTurtleLunarmayorBassoonJokesRClaytclynque
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    I don't think I like where this coffee table is going pic.twitter.com/KIHzUVpoc4

    • 2,456
    • FAVS
    SkankOfTheSeaRich_Homie_KhanJohnCotter07AbhinavKariOfficialKeiHeshGod_CarlyClayton_pizzaless
    • 1,090
    • RETWEETS
    JohnCotter07Isaiahhaiasi___uyyoaDangerPwerRngerTheBlackerBerie_ImStayingCrazyYoudownwith_LNVchelseajadeok
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    "there's only one thing to do when you're Zero Dark Thirsty" *Navy Seals bust in and toss Bin Laden a Coke Zero, he pounds it in like 5 sec*

    • 2,027
    • FAVS
    JtSizzleswask0SkankOfTheSeajoek37cumshitassalmightywheezeBAberams_burt0n
    • 1,445
    • RETWEETS
    plainskullDoomanlyfavstar_historyalmightywheezeK_______dCreatineAvengergrewsworlddanielbluth
    havingafatdaypantswearer_Jim_Fear
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    Wow you changed your makeup in 16 different hot ways. And where did you learn those 8 moves that drove me wild *sees Cosmo on the table* ah

    • 2,095
    • FAVS
    tammycasanovaDanimal_3479Travis4542cumshitassfakenichollsjonstapleyfzed_me_sharing
    • 986
    • RETWEETS
    infiniteshannonZigs26nkuntz96apocalypsedoeMickaremuschelseycaranaarkskibitski
    Home_HalfwayAceMakesWordsAaronFullerton
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    "Sir did you know you were going 35 in a 25 mph zone" *rookie partner pukes*

    • 2,096
    • FAVS
    JtSizzlesSkankOfTheSeaThe_Best_Jake4camdubya13wizardsleev3sgrayistheworldTurdieBagFartSilasEgan
    • 862
    • RETWEETS
    The_Best_Jake4plainskullLuisCamacho_0ballingerKuskidJack20519694ReverendBorisAndre_3004
    briangaarneedlemenschilgrandechuckrobdelaney
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    Shy construction crew just blushing and kicking at the ground every time a lady walks by

    • 2,009
    • FAVS
    wask0cumshitasssnow_vanfzed_eldeadpooliovirgiltexasmr13lakesseapvnk
    • 830
    • RETWEETS
    sseapvnksoonmidemlgsslowhndsmcollinknightWham_Citywr_noelAceJon
    earfdaeLostCatDog
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    "How can they find Kony," he wonders out loud as he skips pebbles across the lake, "when Kony has not even found himself"

    • 1,686
    • FAVS
    wask0jaredzammitPotter_CarolinecumshitassSquigglosaurBAberams_ulneaclarecushbomb
    • 1,108
    • RETWEETS
    WordbeastSKRollinsl4stewartylerflakeericvanaerdeJ_Mitch_HJLYBERG10bradcesanek
    PajamaBen_UsedTurtle
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    You say you kissed a girl?! Hot crackers, whatta scoop! Now *tips back hat w/ little sign that says "PRESS"* did you learn how they pee

    • 2,095
    • FAVS
    SkankOfTheSeaChillE_ConCarne__JacquikatnotjeffryanSweetPatootwilrettilluminautimadtowndavidson
    • 687
    • RETWEETS
    SweetPatootwilrettladyhawkkimchepasableRainsexualelohssanaZakBlumerTubzbuster
    SamGrittnerdubstep4dadscrylenolwinnersusedrugs
  • crushingbort
      Horton Atonto @crushingbort

    *blocks kick from henchman* "nice try scumbag" *ducks kiss from girl* "not in this life bub" *hangs up on calling mom* "too slow dirtball"

    • 1,917
    • FAVS
    cumshitassfzed_ham_overlordRuehlmanngrandoriojjlaybourn____matthandlersuxSpennyBecks
    • 829
    • RETWEETS
    Sam__WilliamsPimpCityDeluxeamnxietyJaneBuzJaneRadicalRadicalsinHallwayssunfilterMjw04
    dataispluralBassoonJokes
@crushingbort

@crushingbort

Freelance photographer for plus-sized cats clothing catalogue