@crustyjuggler72's (Crusty Juggler) most faved Tweets...
A horse is a horse. Of course, of course. That is, of course, unless the horse is married to Matthew Broderick.
What is the sound of one hand clapping? Press your ear against any teenage boy's closed bedroom door.
"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Fellatio." My efforts to produce Shakepearean porn are gonna take the world by storm.
My neighbors act like they've never had a naked woman in a tree peeking in their bedroom window before. It's as if last week never happened.
Dental assistant: You're real good at talking with lots of stuff in your mouth. Me: <Looks out into Twitterland and winks>
There should be one thing in each room that sparks conversation. In my guest bathroom, it's the box of latex gloves on the toilet tank.
I love going to the dentist because his cavity searches are amazing. We spoon afterwards, and he whispers in my ear about flossing.
I accidentally got in the shower with my glasses on. I'm starting to understand why some of you don't want HD porn.
He may think he's playing me like a violin, but it's painfully obvious that he needs practice and can't read music.
The silence between us was deafening. He made a flower out of a napkin. I made an anatomically correct balloon animal. We would never last.
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