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The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was pointing at food on my shirt and when I looked there wasn't any food and then he booped my nose
My name's Tony and I'm here to say: I just found out about rap today
I think that heaven is if they tape a bunch of pillows to your body and you just roll around all crazy, just go for it and never stop
pretty cool how liquids evolve to turn the same shape as any wacky bucket you could put them in but no one knows why
I am going to use this website to talk about my feelings
would you rather have sloppy wet kisses from a dog or sloppy wet kisses from a different dog?
if people evolved from single-celled organisms then why are there still single-celled organisms and who made computers
I've eaten worse blizzards out of the garbage bin behind Dairy Queen
It's funny that if someone tells you "I just ate a half-dozen Whoppers" they either said something super gross or they had six hamburgers
"This moment of silence is brought to you by Oreos" in a hulu voice, coming out of every speaker (including phones)
At the restaurant just keep ordering food + eat it until u die than u don't have 2 pay the bill #lifehacks
Photocopy your money then trade it with a dog for goods/services, he won't know it's b&w #lifehacks