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I was thinking about how Satan tricks people by interpreting their wishes literally and suddenly realized that Satan is Amelia Bedelia.
I dress conservatively and part my hair severely, so yes, I'll visit your grandma and pretend to be her prom date who died in the war.
Your 90s nostalgia will not slow the reaper's scythe.
MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: Karaoke for gay bars but instead of songs it's Best Actress acceptance speeches
"But I forgot to thank that barista who smiled at me! I forgot to thank the birds in the trees!" - Anne Hathaway in handcuffs backstage
Amazing TED Talk from Jodie Foster
It's rude to look at your friends when you're out to dinner with your phone.
In the deafening silence after I finish live-tweeting an awards show, I understand why Judy took pills.
When Princess Diana died, Elton John was so sad that he Weird-Al-ed a song about another dead lady.
Old man exhausted by world's fanciest game of make-believe.
The revolution will not be available on some devices.
The trick is always staying one social network ahead of your parents.
Let's take a moment to remember that Michael Fassbender's name is Mike Fassbender.
It gets meilleur, Javert!
Being gay is just belonging to a polytheistic religion that worships character actresses.
I understand Hamlet, because if my uncle murdered my father, I'd probably just make him watch my shitty one-act play about it.
Writer for The Mindy Project. Equal parts Brian Boitano & Elaine Stritch.