Welcome to Crash Cab. every question you get wrong i run a red light.

Say no 2 drugs. Say yes 100 drugs

Why are doctors afraid of apples so much

"not even close" -me listening to jimi hendrix's star spangled banner

why is juggalo urine so cold? icy pee

cats really have no idea how famous they are on the internet

my new years resolution is 1280 x 1024

Kanye Westboro Baptist Church

#AwfulFirstDraftDialogue hi im james bond whats your name

got kicked out of my calculus class for deriving drunk

I liked skrillex better when he was called garbage trucks

#SongsToPlayWhileHavingSex Pokemon Red bicycle theme

I was raised in an elevator.

D.A.R.E. to try every drug at least once

"I'm just like you" I say as I slide my jeans on one arm at a time

"Do you have any of these but in a large?" *holds up a pizza bagel*

ifi get 400 followers tonight i will buy a pack of gum with a 100 dollar bill and live tweet the cashiers reaction

i can Phil you Collins in the air tonight

Find out which of your grandparents fucked on http://t.co/IORuwSdO

Actually, Frankenstein is the name of the book, not the monster