Hello, my name is Alex. I am a grown man, and I just cried while reading @postsecret.

GUYS NO STOP IT. I AM NOT ACTUALLY THE JUGGALO TYPE. YOU DO NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT I HAVE TO SAY. #ohDEAR

@avocadosaurus I blame @nuditea for any and all instances of that song being stuck in anyone's head.

Precipitation, why you precipitate?! :(

Alan Cumming, goddammit, stop being so disconcertingly sexy. #andblinding

@kirimuffin I do understand the cause, but activism doesn't mean "of course it's triggering, get over it, stop crying and fight."

@mrsamuelbarnett I'm honestly surprised that that word is said by more than one person in the world...

@jephjacques So... probably Trolletrotzen would work fine. trotzenTrolle sounds like a pesterchum handle.

I could quite happily never hear the word "swag" in my life ever again.

No one cares, no one sympathizes, you just stay home and play synthesizers.

"The short answer to that is 'no'. The long answer is 'fuck no'."

boooooored please entertain me

Wait, can you not see that? Here it is! http://t.co/ld4hZEM LOOK LOOK LOOK

D10 I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU AND YOUR HAIR AND YOUR VOICE AND YOUR VELVET BLAZER

@gallifreich Oh my god your name is awesome. *brofist*

gaaaah why is everyone so TYPICAL? "lol im such a free spirit" while being EXACTLY THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE stoppit stoppit STOPPIT

Holy crap rain. #rain #holycrap

Just instigated conversation with a cute guy dressed as the Eleventh Doctor. "Does the phrase 'bow ties are cool' mean anything to you?"

I have officially met Jeph Jacques. Life: made.

Sister's boyfriend just put a link on Facebook to an article about slut-shaming from a Feminism 101 site. #MARRYHIM