My pussy ran off. I've been calling all my neighbors to tell them my pussy is loose, they just say they already knew ;)

Holy fuck, sometimes you just want to look at someone & tell them - please don't smile

Ever look at somebody and they gave your asshole a cramp? ;)

If I dont get a retweet I'll go masturbate !!!!!!!!!

Working out .... glass to mouth .... whiskey curl ; )

Midgets should walk around with 1 of those sucky dildos on their head- they'd get alot more action !!!

It's way 2 early for happy texts from my neighbor,I bet she didn't get choked during angry makeup sex. Wtf his timing is so off ;)

I think this computer has a mind of its' own, that's good cause I lost mine a long time ago ;)

Wow the news just reported cops busted local brothel. I wonder if that was after they got their nut. ;)

Eat my thong !!!!!!! U dicks!!!!!! http://t.co/okQPshrd

I wish my phone said "fuuuuuuuuck" instead of droid..... ; )

Masturbation is the best !!!!!!!!!!

Life gives u boobs .... By fuck play with em !!!!!!!!!

Happy sperm donation day fuckers !!!!!

Fuck it bitches !!!!!!!! http://t.co/iLWZuOdh

Yall make my morning better .... just fucking saying .....

I'm an asshole !!!!!

I'm calling my mom.... gonna tell her about all u sick fucks . She's gonna say I top the list ; ) She's so proud !!!

http://t.co/aPmM5xS2

: ) http://t.co/Uc4wuYgZ