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Why the hell did we stop building moats?
You know you're a boring adult when u have a nightmare that you spilled food on your jeans & get pissed bc you JUST washed those dream jeans
I paid a thousand dollars for this tweet to look sparkly is it working it doesn't look like it's working let me know if it's working motherf
Hey man, I noticed you took a bite out of that string cheese without pulling it apart with your fingers first.
Is everything ok?
What's around the corner? More corners.
Today is International Women's Day. Typically, International Women's Day is only 70% as long as every other damn day.
Today is International Women's Day. What are my gift options? Any good mattress sales happening?
I've never felt more 24 than when I just agreed to go to Governor's Ball this summer.
At a restaurant I thought a family was praying at the table but then I realized they were all texting.