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I'm "wish I was young enough for a mid-life crisis" years old.
Good morning. Today is Dec. 4, 2013. Affirmation: "Today I will view problems through a positive lens. Except traffic. Fuck those people."
As I was packing my lunch, my cat got on the table and started licking my lasagna. I had to lecture him for half an hour about stereotypes.
One time my Dad said he was going to the gas station to buy me a Hess Truck for Christmas and he never came back.
slept for three hours then woke up for god knows why and i cant get back to sleep so im reading internet fights between ivy league students
I literally haven't taken my liquids out of my bag for screening in the US in years. Nobody actually cares as long as they're <3oz/100ml
It's a good thing I'm awake for no reason.
Newbies: Twitter is an online diary so everything you write here must be 100% true
I went to print something and people were out running, like, for exercise
How are you guys this morning oh that's terrific. Who cares.
At a restaurant I thought a family was praying at the table but then I realized they were all texting.