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I had a dream last night about my braces falling off so, like, be the teen you want to see in the world
wife: why is our bathroom sink full of mayonnaise
me: don’t touch that it’s for a meme
Thank god for emojis!
Before, we were all like: SUNGLASSES FACE, DONUT, WINE GLASS, UNICORN, YELLOW HANDS CLAPPING, POOP SWIRL.
Wearing expensive shoes. That's just how it is when you're a celebrity.
In his excitement to see himself on the kiss cam Ted Cruz knocks his wife out of the upper deck
We trained ours on a large iPad...don't want them to damage their vision. Obv. https://twitter.com/curlycomedy/status/728045544765956096 …
Guess that's a "cross that bridge when I come to it" sort of problem.
Comedian • Contributor @Someecards • Brendar @broadcity • IG: curlycomedy • Best Tweets of the Year Paste Mag, Huff Po • Take my Twitter jokey fun workshop!
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