I don't FF because I retweet the people I'd recommend and most of the people I would FF follow each other anyway. #GetaRoom

Donate @itgetsbetter book to your hometown library  http://itgetsbetter.org/libraries 

RT @alybo23: you can lead a horse to water but MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LED ARTAX TO THE SINKING SWAMP OF SADNESS, ATREYU...

What if Lady Gaga wears those costumes bc she is actually played by several different people like the queen from the Phantom Menace?

I never have to buy weed - wherever it is smoked I mystically appear, smoke and then disappear. I think the slang term for that is 'female'.

Branson is like Vegas for comedians who aren't funny - except for Yakov. He is hilarious. #inrussia

@travleblanc Zero because the lightbulb refused to let him screw it.

PoopCoach is the name of an actual twitter account that is following me. It wants me to "poop passionately". Is there any other way?

100 Seconds of Solitude #lessambitiousbooks

Not Without My Daughter #DescribeYourSexLifeWithaMovieTitle

Fire away on an epic scale! win a Kindle & get free ebooks @aobiliophile 1/11-13/12 (Intl) http://t.co/eMYQq14f #epickindlegiveaway Pls RT

Fictitious Musings free for #kindle” and “#epickindlegiveaway http://t.co/nlsGoaA8

@okccomedy I would like to see @emophilips and @normmacdonald primarily. I'm sure there are others, but other people will think of them.

Seeing Jeselnik WOO! (@ House of Blues Dallas - @hobdallas for Anthony Jeselnik w/ 15 others) [pic]:  http://4sq.com/19r2Oed 

Win a @remingtonpark Package for Opening Night, August 10. A Private Suite for up to 20 people, Limo, Food, Free Play! http://t.co/Kaetv369

@jamescurtis_okc Gonzo: A Graphic Biography of Hunter S. Thompson http://t.co/cWhHv60U

Seeing Anthony Jeselnik. (@ Addison Improv Comedy Club) [pic]: http://t.co/Lp8nnUTz

SPEED DATING WITH THE DEAD and other free books. Enter to win Kindle Fires! #ebookswag RT to enter for $20 giftcard. http://t.co/JUKMkN4l

BigAl's Books and Pals: The Epic Giveaway continues free for #kindle” and “#epickindlegiveaway

http://t.co/PYH9kNlg

I don't follow a lot of the "big" twitter accounts because when they write something good I see it retweeted everywhere anyway #LazyLikeThat